Broken Inside
by Atsureki
Summary: Ken's falling apart, nightmares are slowly killing him. Aya tries to help him but he stumbles over something more than friendship on the way. Does Ken feel the same? Can Aya save Ken before his past kills him?
1. Prologue

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Prologue

Blood, blood everywhere and he was the one who had spilled it. Shivering flesh torn apart, also his doing. It was just too much. With a low whimper he sank to his knees and desperately tried to crawl away from the reality that was engraving itself on his memory. All he wanted was for IT to go away. 

With disgust he pulled off and threw away the clawed gloves that were his weapons and hugged himself. It wasn't the first time he had felt guilt race within after a mission but it had never ever been so bad before. He wanted to throw up, scream, cry or preferably just die, but he had to settle with curling up into a ball on the bloody floor. 

How had he gotten to be a cold blooded killer? When had he gone astray from his kindness and love for life? He didn't know, couldn't think about it right then and there.

"Siberian?" A soft voice in his ear managed to pull him away from the thoughts but not back to reality. "Siberian what's your status?" The question just brushed through him. "Siberian do you copy? Balinese do you have a visual on the target?"

"That's a no Bombay. The target was heading in Siberian's direction on the fourth floor." The conversation didn't concern him. Only the sticky blood covering everything, including himself, mattered.

"I get no response from Siberian, Balinese." The voice paused for a moment. "Abyssinian do you have contact with Siberian?" The soft voice was concerned now.

"No Bombay, not for about 20 minutes or so," a deep smooth voice answered.

"Moving to the fourth floor Bombay, will try to locate Siberian and confirm the target's status." Everything became quiet again. Not that he cared, hell was swallowing him and he didn't care about that either. Blessed be the darkness that was trying to eat him alive, blessed be whatever state that would take away the horrific sight infront of him. 

He could barely stand to breathe because of the heavy coppery stench from the blood that was everywhere. His eyes were shadowed by something wet that he didn't understand what it was. 

He was having some sort of anxiety attack. His heart was pounding rapidly, the sound of the blood rushing through his veins almost drowned out all other sounds, sweat pearled on his skin and his lungs were painfully cramped up in his chest. 

Fighting for air he hugged himself tighter and felt how his whole body shook, trembled, convulsed. The bile he could taste in his mouth made him want to throw up but he couldn't. After what could have been a minute or a year the sound of footsteps approached him but he was too lost and broken to react. 

"Bombay the target has been destroyed, I repeat, the target has been destroyed." A hand shook him. "Siberian?" He couldn't have answered even if he had wanted to, didn't really hear the question. "Shit! Fucking shit! Bombay, Abyssinian get up here Siberian is hurt!" 

Again it became quiet as hands touched him here and there. It was becoming more and more difficult to get air into his lungs and his mind was racing. He was panicking but couldn't even convince himself to move from the fetal position he was in.

"Oh God is he…?" a soft voice asked with fear.

"No he's alive but his breathing is shallow and his pulse is very fast and out of rhythm."

"Siberian?" People were talking but he couldn't hear what they were saying and he still couldn't move.

"For how long has he been like that?" a flat deep voice asked.

"Since Balinese found him. I haven't had any contact with him for the last 15 minutes and he doesn't react when spoken to," the softest of the three voices answered.

"Ken?" A hand shook him gently but it didn't reach him, didn't concern him.

"Damn!"

"We better get him back to the house," the deep voice said.

"Someone is going to have to carry him."

"I know. I'll do it Bombay. Balinese get his things." Strong arms lifted him up and he didn't struggle. Finally his mind decided that it had had enough and everything just faded away.

TBC?

My latest idea for a Weiss-fic. Not sure where this is headed just yet but we'll see, that is if anyone thinks I should continue… *S* Lemme know okay?/Atsureki


	2. Chapter 1. Broken

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 1. Broken

Three pairs of eyes watched the sleeping form of their friend. If his chest hadn't been moving they would have thought he was dead.

"What happened to him?" Green eyes met blue and narrowed slightly.

"I don't know Omi. He was covered in blood but most of it wasn't his."

"Maybe he got hit over the head?" Omi suggested and frowned.

"I don't think so… This is something else. Aya is that damn doctor coming or what?" the green eyed blonde growled.

"Hrn."

"Dammit Aya can you answer a question with a real word!" Amethyst eyes looked at the tall blonde showing nothing but blandness.

"Yes," the readhead finally said with his monotone voice.

"Yes what? Yes you can answer with a real word or yes the doctor is coming?"

"Both."

"Fuck!"

"Yoji this isn't helping," Omi sighed.

"He's here," Aya commented and left the room.

"He who?" Yoji asked after him and didn't get an answer, not that he had expected one.

"Must be the doctor," the younger blonde mumbled. "Yoji… do you think Ken will be alright?" The lanky blonde patted his smaller friend's shoulder and smiled slightly.

"Of course he'll be alright Omi." But that answer sounded false even in Yoji's ears.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Someone or something was trying to get him to wake up. He didn't want to so he struggled. It was starting to really annoy him that whatever or whoever it was refused to let him stay in the safe numbness where his memories couldn't hurt him.

"Ken?" Oh great they had found him and if he could hear them it could only mean that he was awake.

"I don't want to wake up," he croaked out and tried to crawl back into the hole of unconsciousness again.

"Oh yes you do Ken!"

"Go! Away! Yoji!" he muttered with irritation and swung his arm to show how serious he was.

"Please Kenken," a much softer voice begged him.

"Yoji, Omi, leave him alone," a deep bland tone said.

"But Aya…"

"Now." The redhead's command gave no room for argument.

"Yes Aya," Omi sighed.

"It's really annoying how you always play boss around here," Yoji snorted but Ken could hear that the lanky blonde left the room. 

Carefully the former soccer-player opened his eyes. He was in his own bed in his own room. It must have been rather late for there was no light coming from the windows. Suddenly someone said his name and caused him to almost jump out of his skin.

"Tea." A mug was placed on the table beside the bed as Ken's eyes focused on the pale face of Aya.

"I don't want it. Just leave me alone!" His inside was numb and he wanted to be alone. The redhead watched him for a few moments before he turned around and disappeared as quietly as he had appeared.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Almost a month had passed by since the last mission. Every night Ken paced his room like a restless ghost. They had tried to talk to the brunette but no one got through. Especially Omi suffered from not being able to help his older friend. It was almost as if the brown haired man had left his body, leaving only an empty shell behind. 

Only when he tried to sleep Ken showed that he still was in there. The heartbreaking screams from horrible nightmares and later the painful crying was a torment to listen to. Aya sighed as he stood outside Ken's door. He was of course the last one any sane person would have picked out to help Ken but icey walls can hide more than meets the eye… With his cold mask in place the red haired assassin knocked on the door.

"Go away!" came the hollow and familier answer. Aya ignored it and opened the door.

"We need to talk Ken," the older man said quietly.

"I don't want to talk to you Aya! Leave me alone!"

"No." Ken narrowed his eyes and glared at the slender redhead.

"No?" he frowned and pulled a shaky hand through his messy hair.

"No," Aya repeated firmly and came closer. He could see something that almost look like panic in Ken's eyes. "What happened that night?" Had that question been asked by Omi or Yoji it wouldn't have surprised the brown haired assassin, but since it was Aya who asked him he was completely baffled.

"I… I… just snapped," Ken managed to stammer and sank down on the edge of the bed. "There was so much blood, death and and… I'm the one who caused it… Everything is death, I killed it all, nobody lives, everybody dies. I'm dead… It's all I ever do… Spill blood, clean it up, spill it again… Slashing through flesh… Destroy… Kill…" he rambled not really talking to anyone. Aya couldn't keep a shadow of concern from creeping across his face. "Am I dead Aya?" Ken's sudden question caused the redhead to wince.

"No, you're not dead." _Is that really true though?_ Aya asked himself, _We're all dead in one way or another, aren't we? But Ken was always so much more alive… and now he's… not._

"Then how come I can't feel anything?" Ken asked with tears in his eyes. Aya didn't know what to say, he wasn't good with words and especially not comforting words.

"I don't know…"

"Get out!" Ken growled through his tears. Aya sighed quietly and left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yoji looked up and watched Aya entered the kitchen. The read head looked just as stoic as he always did.

"Did you talk to him?" the blonde asked.

"Aa."

"And?" Aya sat down and for a brief moment he looked very tired.

"I can't get through to him. He either can't or doesn't want me to…" Aya sighed. Yoji realized that he had never seen or heard so many emotions coming from the redhead before.

"I don't understand Aya. We've done so many missions and that one wasn't even difficult. How could it had effected him so badly?" the lanky blonde asked slowly. His fellow assassin met his eyes for a moment.

"I don't think it was the mission Yoji," Aya answered with his voice back to its normal blandness.

"I don't understand."

"Sometimes we try to run away from bad things and when we think we've lost them to the past we slow down. But you can't run away from yourself, your past will always catch up with you and I think Ken found that out that night. I suppose the massive bloodshed had a part in it but it probably would have happened sooner or later." Yoji had never heard Aya talk for that long before and gave him a strange look.

"If you stare into the darkness long enough the darkness will stare back," the blonde sighed.

"Something like that," Aya nodded.

"What did the doctor say?"

"He thinks Ken should see a shrink."

"A shrink? Great! Like he needs someone poking around in his brain," Yoji muttered and shook his head.

"We can't help him Yoji. If he doesn't get help he might end up doing something dangerous to himself." The lanky blonde swallowed and looked into the redhead's eyes. "He's walking on a thin line…" Yoji shuddered. Aya was right, but that didn't mean he wanted to hear it.

"Ken would never… hurt himself… would he?"

"Normally I would say no but now I'm not so sure," Aya sighed and even sounded tired. The blonde was confused. It actually looked like their cold hearted leader cared.

"Did you talk to Manx?" Yoji asked and grabbed his can of beer.

"She's putting Weiss on hold and if Ken doesn't get better they'll have no other choice than to… remove him from the team."

"Remove him? What the fuck does that mean? Ken is our friend dammit!" Yoji growled and glared at the younger assassin.

"Would you be willing to put your life in Ken's hands at the moment? Can you honestly say that you trust him to cover your back during a mission?" Aya asked quietly and gave the blonde a cold look. _Always the team. Guess I was wrong Aya, you don't give a shit about Ken, do you?_ Yoji snorted inside.

"Forget the team for one damn second! I don't give a fuck about Weiss! I'm worried about Ken and for a moment I was stupid enough to think that you were too," the blonde spat out. The only reaction he got from Aya was a raised eyebrow and a bland look. Without bothering to answer the redhead left the kitchen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Underneath his emotionless facade Aya fumed. Yoji always managed to get to him and it was so damn annoying. Just because he looked and acted like he didn't care it didn't mean that he was completely dead inside. 

He was worried about Ken too but he chose not to show it. The redhead stopped outside the former soccer-player's door and knocked on it. When he got no answer he opened the door and took a look inside. Empty.

"Omi?" Aya called out and waited for the petit blonde to appear.

"Yes Aya?"

"Have you seen Ken this evening?"

"No, but you know he doesn't leave his room anymore," Omi answered with a sigh.

"Well he has now. He's not there." The short blonde frowned and looked worried.

"What if he…" Omi couldn't bring himself to finish what he was about to say.

"I'm sure he's alright," Aya objected and gave the younger man a hint of a smile.

"Should we go look for him?"

"I'll go Omi, I think I know where he is," the redhead sighed and turned around. Despite his calm answer Aya was worried about Ken and what he might do to himself. The former soccer-player was way out of character and not in a good way. 

Each and every one of the four assassins hid behind masks but Ken had always been... What was it that Ken always was? _Heartfilled? Full of life?_ Aya suggested. Ken had a love for life that only Omi managed to come close to. Aya frowned deeply as he walked up to his car. _Ken don't do anything stupid,_ he begged inside his head. 

If there was one thing Aya couldn't stand it was the loss of innocence. He had already lost his, Yoji was a lost cause for obvious reasons, Omi held his firmly mostly due to his young age but Ken had his naturally. It wasn't really childish it was just pure innocence even if it probably wasn't as complete as it once had been. 

With a concerned shadow in his violet eyes the redhead started his car and backed out onto the street. Every nerve was on edge when Aya parked infront of a huge stadium. 

The loud rumble of thunder caused him to wince and then a golden flash of lightning sped across the dark sky, seconds later the rain was pouring down. Aya pulled his coat tighter around him and entered the stadium. If Ken wasn't there he had no idea of where to look but he convinced himself not to think about that. 

A dark tunnel took him underneath the stands. The sound of rain drowned out all other sounds as he entered the dusky soccerfield. To his relief he saw a huddling form sitting in the middle of it.

"Ken," Aya sighed and hurried towards him. He stopped a few feet from his friend when he heard the brunette talking. The words were hard to hear over the rain but the redhead could make out Sorry, Death, Blood and Hell. 

Carefully he approached the former soccer-player. Ken slowly turned his head and looked at him. His face was pale and the rain ran down his cheeks. 

"Ken?" Aya asked quietly. "Are you okay?" Shakingly his fellow assassin rose to his feet and shook his head.

"I'm scared Aya." Ken mumbled and clenched his hands into fists. "I… I don't know what's happening to me anymore.

"We'll… I'll help you Ken." The brunette started shaking even more and suddenly he reached out his hand to Aya.

"Help me, please Aya, help me. I… I can't stand it anymore," he whimpered and threw himself against the redhead's chest tightly gripping the soaked coat with his hands. For a moment the taller man froze, completely taken aback by Ken's actions. 

No one touched Aya and Aya touched no one, those were the unspoken rules but when the normally so stoic man heard the desperate crying of his friend something broke free inside of him. Without thinking, or understanding, the redhead wrapped his arms around the shaking body pressed against his.

"Sch Ken, it's okay. I promise I'll help if you just please come back to the house with me," Aya mumbled with a softer voice than he had ever used before, except when he was talking to his sister. He was confused by his own actions and feelings. Showing only a bland, stoic facade was something he just had to do. 

Emotions didn't do anyone any good and hiding them meant that he was in control, that no one could take advantage of the way he felt. But Aya also had a hidden need to protect others even if he managed to supress it most of the time. His sister didn't need him as much as she used to and that had left him feeling… empty. With a shudder the redhead pushed away his thoughts. 

"Ken we need to get you back to bed before you get sick."

"NO!" the brunette almost screamed. "I don't want to sleep! The nightmares…I don't want to be alone in the dark anymore…"

"Sch calm down Ken," the taller man murmured. "I'll stay with you, if you want me to?" Aya raised an eyebrow at his own words. Where the hell had that come from?

"Promise?" Ken asked quietly and tilted his face up so that his brown eyes could meet amethyst.

"I promise. I'll sit with you all night if you just come back to the house with me," Aya nodded. When Ken didn't answer the redhead started leading him from the field still with one arm placed around his shoulders.

TBC?

Aya is acting OOC here but bare with me. I'm giving him a few feelings I'm not sure he really has but hey it's all for the good of the fic! *laffs* Besides he does strike me as a protecting person even though he doesn't exactly flaunt it. I mean just look at his relationship with his sister./Atsureki


	3. Chapter 2. Protected

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 2. Protected

Ken swallowed back a scream and buried his face in the pillow. The nightmares were killing him. Nothing helped except not sleeping at all, which of course wouldn't work in the long run. Carefully he looked over to the chair a few feet from him bed. Aya had kept his promise. 

It was about 3 am and the redhead was still sitting there, not that it had helped Ken much. The taller man seemed to be asleep and for once his face was relaxed. In sleep the mask Aya usually wore had slipped, showing a young man burdened with life. 

Ken sighed deeply. What point was there in having him sitting in that chair all night long? It didn't do either one of them any good. But the thought of waking Aya up didn't exactly strike Ken as a good idea so he sank back against the pillows again. 

His mind drifted away and started pondering over the questions that had darted around inside his head ever since they came back from the stadium. Why on earth had Aya gone after him? Why had Aya tried to help him? Why hadn't Aya killed him when he threw himself at him? Ken didn't have any answers and the ones he wanted were out of reach simply because Aya was Aya. 

He also wanted to know why the hell he had thrown himself at the redhead like that. It must have been the way he was feeling inside. He was just so… broken inside, like somene had taken his heart and soul and just smashed it all to pieces. So he had reached out to the one person in his life who never showed any feelings at all, the one person who was just as good at hiding behind a mask as he was.

"That mask of yours must be a heavy one to bare Aya," Ken mumbled quietly. "I've always wondered if hiding behind it keeps you happy?"

"Mask or no mask, happiness isn't what I'm seeking Ken." The deep voice caused the brunette to jump. _Open mouth, insert foot,_ Ken growled to himself, mentally kicking his own ass for saying such a stupid thing out loud.

"I… I…" Aya looked at him and slowly shook his head.

"Nightmares again?" the redhead asked and allowed the embarrassing subject to be forgotten.

"Yes," Ken sighed and shuddered at the thought of them.

"Maybe you should see someone about all of this?" Aya suggested.

"You mean like a shrink?"

"Aa."

"What difference would a shrink make Aya? No one can change my life, take away what I am. You know why I'm with Weiss but does my intentions really keep me from being one of the bad guys? Am I really any better than the people we kill, any less evil? I have so much blood on my hands that I can barely bare to touch my face anymore, afraid that it'll rub off," Ken mumbled with a hollow voice. "Did you know that one of our targets told me that he'd wait for me in hell? When I heard that the first thing on my mind was… this is hell." Aya rose from his chair and came closer.

"Ken you're not an evil or bad person," the redhead sighed as he sat down beside him on the bed. "If you were you wouldn't give a shit about saving lives. Everybody has problems from time to time and I really think you need to face yours. But at the moment you need to get some sleep." Ken whimpered at the shear thought of going back to sleep again.

"Don't ask me to sleep Aya, please. I can't stand it!" the brunette croaked out under his breath.

"Ken I'll be right here the whole time. Nightmares are just dreams they can't hurt you unless you allow them to. Just close your eyes and rest." Ken stared at the redhead. That voice was soft and caring not callous and cold like it usually was. 

Maybe it was because he was tired, scared and felt so broken and lonely, maybe it was something else but at that moment Ken just acted on instinct. With a small nod he more or less crawled over to Aya and placed his head in the redhead's lap. 

He could feel how the older man froze completely. _Kill me if you want to Aya, I don't even think I care anymore,_ Ken mumbled to himself and closed his eyes. But instead of having a katana slice his throat or angry hands pushing him away he felt a trembling hand stroke him over the hair. With a content sigh Ken allowed sleep to pull him away.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya stared at the sleeping man. Something was going on that he didn't understand. Why hadn't he beaten the living shit out of Ken? Aya didn't know and he had a hunch that he'd never find out either. Besides, he had promised the brunette he would help him and if that meant allowing him to sleep on his lap then what was the fuss about? It wasn't like having Ken's head resting on his thigh would kill him or anything? 

A more disturbing fact was that he kept on running his fingers through brown hair. _Stop it!_ Aya ordered himself and was completely ignored. His hand just continued to repeat the same smooth movement through soft hair. 

There was a war going on inside him and at the moment his heart or soul had the control. Aya was no fan of humans, that was not a secret. The only one he usually tended to act a little nicer to was Omi, since the petit blonde was so young. But Ken was a grown man, a grown man who had kicked his ass when he joined up with Weiss. 

Aya sighed deeply and closed his eyes. At least Ken was asleep which was what he needed so the redhead would allow him to stay where he was, just this once.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Ken woke up he was alone. Instead of Aya's lap he found a pillow, but he knew that the redhead must have been sitting there with him for a long time. There had been no more nightmares. The brunette sighed. He was a little too disappointed that Aya hadn't been there. Slowly he got off the bed and walked out from his room. 

There was still the possibility that his red haired team-mate was going to have his head on a stick, or rather on his katana. Ken sighed again and strolled into the kitchen. Didn't he have enough problems as it was? Muttering sourly to himself he made some coffee and sank down on one of the chairs. 

Even if Aya didn't decide to kill him it still sucked that he probably couldn't go to the redhead for help again. He had had one night's sleep but days turned into nights quickly. The thought of sleeping without Aya there to protect him from the nightmares was not appealing.

"What do I do now?" he asked himself darkly.

"About what?" a deep voice wondered. Ken snapped his head up and stared at one tall red haired assassin.

"Oh nothing," he answered, sounding lame even in his own ears.

"Feel up to opening the shop with me today?" Aya asked just as blandly as always. "Yoji has the morning shift but he's still sleeping."

"Sure why not, I'm already up," Ken sighed. Amethyst eyes looked at him for a moment.

"Maybe you should go back to bed instead?" their owner suggested flatly.

"No thank you," the brunette shuddered. "I'm quite done sleeping for the moment."

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken was in a tight fix. It was time for bed but he didn't even dare to touch his bed. He paced his room nervously. His eyes demanded sleep just as his body did but he was too scared. Those nightmares would be the death of him. With a deep sigh he opened the door and walked out. There had to be some way for him to keep those damn dreams away. Suddenly Ken realized that he was knocking on a door.

"Yes?" _Shit!_ It wasn't just any door it was Aya's. Ken looked around almost in panic. _What to do, what do to?_ he whined inside. "Ah Ken." Blushing like a madman the brunette looked up and into the redhead's eyes.

"I…" _I what?_

"Nightmares again?" Aya asked calmly.

"Well… I haven't actually gone to bed yet… I… Um…" Ken studdered feeling like a complete moron.

"Come on." Aya stepped out and gestured towards the brunette's room. Lost for words he followed the redhead. Without a word the taller man pulled down the quilt from the bed. Ken watched him lost in confusion.

"A… Aya?"

"Are you going to sleep standing up?" Ken shook his head and headed for the bed.

"Um."

"Just lie down Ken, I'll stay here tonight so you can sleep." _Okay Aya has lost his marbles, gone nuts, loony-tunes_, the brunette declared to himself but did as he was told. If he was surprised and shocked before it was nothing compared to what he became when the redhead sat down beside him, leaning his back against the head-board of the bed and pulled the brunette's head into his lap.

"Aya… I," he objected and tried to sit up. A hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"It's okay Ken. Just go to sleep," Aya said softly and ran his hand through the brunette's hair.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya was baffled by himself. For the second time he found himself sitting on Ken's bed with the brunette's head in his lap. That was unnerving enough on its own but what was worse was that he enjoyed it. No one would ever hear the redhead admit to it but he had missed the feeling of that head in his lap just as he had missed the soft hair his fingers touched. 

__

Looks like Mr Icicle has a soft spot, he mocked himself and sighed. Why was he acting like this? Aya contemplated with himself for a moment. _Calm down! I just want to help the baka that's all._ Well that was true. Actually he wanted to do more than help but Aya ignored that. 

It didn't take long before Ken had fallen alseep. Slowly the redhead allowed his bland mask to slide down. Something was happening to him and he didn't understand what nor did he understand why. Feelings were a waste of time so why the hell did he suddenly have so many of them? 

Lost in thoughts his eyes drifted close. Half asleep he slid further down against the pillows. He was uncomfortable so he rearranged the body next to him so that he was laying on his back with Ken resting against his chest. A part of his mind, that was still awake, objected but Aya silenced it, wrapped his arms around the warm body and sank deeper into dreamland.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken yawned and tried to stretch but something hindered his movement. Arms wrapped around him. Confused he opened his eyes and felt his jaw drop when he stared at a sleeping Aya. He was resting on the redhead's chest with his left arm draped over a slender waist. _He's gonna kill me for sure this time,_ Ken whined and tried to free himself. But Aya just held him tighter and mumbled something. 

The brunette bit his lip and started to panic. If Aya woke up he would be dead meat. But it felt so good to be so close. Ken's eyes darted around along with his thoughts. He did like Aya a lot, more than he should which in no way made the situation better. _What to do?_ he pondered. 

He had three choices as far as he could tell. Wake Aya, which would probably be the last thing he ever did still alive. Get away, which obviously wasn't going to happen without waking up the redhead. Or, pretend to be asleep and let the older assassin deal with the situation when he woke up. 

Ken chose the latter and relaxed against the warm chest. A sudden urge to purr crept into his mind. Aya's shirt had slid up during the night and the brunette couldn't resist the temptation of carefully touching the exposed ivory skin. _He's so warm and soft,_ Ken thought in wonder. 

The redhead shifted a little at the caress and mumbled again. _Stop it Hidaka or you're gonna be one dead assassin!_ Reluctantly he removed his hand and sighed slightly. Aya had helped him simply because he had promised to do so and that promise most likely came from pity. 

Ken pouted. He hated when others felt pity for him and especially when the one feeling it was the redhead. For some reason, that he couldn't grasp, he wanted something else, something more from Aya, but what? Lost in thoughts he drifted back to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya almost purred as he woke up. He was comfortable, warm and still sleepy. With a mumble he hugged the body resting against his tighter. It took a few moments before his foggy brain digested the information. He was holding someone? Amethyst eyes snapped open. 

Ken was in his arms peacefully sleeping with his head on his chest. Aya felt himself go completely numb. He remembered pulling the brunette's head into his lap to convince him to sleep but just when had that turned into this? He didn't know and was pretty damn sure he didn't want to either. 

Whatever the answer was it didn't matter. If Ken woke up he'd probably freak since the way they were lying was a little more intimate than it should be. Carefully the redhead pushed himself away and shakingly got off the bed. _Get a grip on yourself Fujimiya,_ he spat out to himself. 

Frowning he looked at the sleeping brunette. He had never realized just how good-looking Ken really was. Aya narrowed his eyes and growled to himself. What the hell was going on with him? Ken was a guy for crying out loud! _This has got to stop!_ An amused voice in his head chuckled at him before informing him that he'd be back in the brunette's room come sunset. _The hell I will!_ Aya assured himself but he knew that that was a lie. 

Whatever it was he was feeling towards Ken it was strong enough to keep him coming back to help him. Muttering under his breath the redhead quickly left the room and went to his own. What he needed was to get the brunette to a shrink so that the madness would stop. 

When that was done he wouldn't have to be Ken's security blanket anymore. That thought sent a stab of disappointment right to his heart. He didn't want that. Aya swallowed and shook his head. It had to stop before… he started feeling something that would be so much more difficult to deny.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

There was something strange going on between Aya and Ken. Yoji could see it a mile away. His two team-mates avoided each other and the redhead was irritated. Aya wasn't a sunny person to begin with but what Yoji saw was something else. The glares that shot out from his amethyst eyes weren't the normal deathglares. 

And Ken was jumpy and quiet. Every time he was forced to go near the red haired assassin he fumbled, stuttered and hurried away. With a frown the playboy lit a smoke and narrowed his eyes.

"No smoking in here Kudou!" Aya barked and shot daggers at him.

"Yeah, yeah," the blonde replyed and took his nasty habit outside. Ken had problems, that was no secret but why did Aya act so strange? It annoyed Yoji that he didn't know and it was seriously bugging his curiousity.

"Hello Yoji-kun," a cheerful voice said behind him.

"Ah Omi," the playboy smiled and turned around. "Back from school?"

"Hai."

"Our shift starts in a few minutes," Yoji informed the petit blonde as if he would have forgotten something like that. "By the way Omi… Have you noticed how strange Aya and Ken are acting?" Blue eyes looked at him with confusion.

"No, how so?"

"It's probably nothing," the lanky blonde shrugged and put out his cigarette. "Let's go inside kid." Together they entered the shop and walked right into an arguement.

"You are going Ken," the redhead said harshly and looked extremely stubborn.

"I don't want to! What concern is that of yours anyway?" The look Ken got from Aya was enough to make the brunette squirm.

"I've already called. Monday at 10 am, and Ken… I will drag you there if you don't go on your own!"

"Butt out Aya! I don't need your help, I can take care of myself thank you very much!" Ken growled.

"Um guys what's going on here?" the lanky playboy wondered and stared at them.

"Shut up Yoji!" Ken and Aya snapped as one.

"Well excuse me for breathing."

"Ken," the redhead sighed and sounded nothing like the stoic man he usually was. "You have to get help."

"No I don't! I can take care of this on my own," the slightly shorter man objected.

"So that's what you were doing last night and the night before?" Aya asked softly and got a hurt look from Ken before the latter turned around and stormed out from the shop.

"Okay what the hell is going on here?" Yoji demanded to know.

"What's wrong with Ken-kun?" the smaller blonde asked and looked at the redhead.

"I'm pushing him to see that shrink and Ken doesn't want to," Aya answered with a shrug.

"You can't force him Aya."

"I have to!" the redhead said flatly, took off his apron and walked out.

~TBC~

Aya is a baka *mutters* Why doesn't he understand why he wants to help Ken? Hm Ken isn't much better though *sighs* Guys! Knit a net a catch a clue already!/Atsureki


	4. Chapter 3. Fighting To Stay Awake

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 3. Fighting To Stay Awake

"Damn him," Ken cursed as he slammed the door to his room. "Why does he have to butt in where he has no business?" The brunette winced. Actually Aya was right and he knew it but dammit he did not want to see some shrink. 

Their fight would surely keep the redhead from helping him with the nightmares and that was just plain horrible. Trembling from the thought of sleeping alone again Ken sank down on his bed. Maybe he really did need to see a shrink?

"Ken?" The brunette looked up and sighed deeply when he saw Aya standing there.

"What do you want?" he asked flatly. Aya came in and closed the door behind him.

"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" the redhead asked much softer than Ken had expected.

"I… I don't want anyone to poke around in my head," he admitted and glued his eyes to the floor.

"I don't blame you Ken but you need help." To the brunette's surprise he felt the bed shift when Aya sat down beside him.

"I know," Ken sighed and rubbed his temples.

"I'll make a deal with you. Go see this shrink a few times and if you don't feel it helps you at all I'll back off." The brunette lifted his head up. Aya looked… worried and caring, in other words he looked real wrong and weird.

"Okay I'll go, but… the nightmares…" Ken mumbled and lowered his eyes to the floor again.

"Ken I said I would help you and I will. If you need me to sit with you tonight I will." A huge weight was lifted from Ken's chest.

"Thank you," he sighed with relief and without thinking he grabbed the taller man's hand.

"You're a part of the team Ken, I'm not going to abandon you," Aya said softly and got up. So that was what it all was about. The redhead was only trying to help him so that he wouldn't mess up any missions. _I should have known better,_ Ken sighed to himself and dropped Aya's hand.

"On second thought Aya, don't bother! I'll deal with this on my own," the brunette muttered with anger and hurt. "No need for you to babysit me anymore!" If Ken had looked up at that moment he would have seen the hurt that crossed Aya's face but he didn't.

"Fine," the redhead said blandly and left. The brunette huffed after him and sighed.

"Nice job Hidaka!" he scolded himself. "Who's going to help you sleep tonight?" Not Aya that was for sure and who else was there? Yoji? Not bloody likely. Omi? Well that was a possibility. 

The youngest assassin was his best friend after all. But could he offer the same security as Aya? Ken was honest enough to answer that question with a no. He didn't just need someone to be with him while he slept, he needed Aya. But the redhead wouldn't help him again, which meant that the only thing Ken could do, was not sleep at all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya slammed his door shut and threw himself on the bed. Why had Ken changed his mind? Amethyst eyes narrowed as the answer came. _Because he knows what happened last night,_ the redhead sighed inside. Why had that happened at all? Aya huffed and made a serious attempt at strangling his pillow. 

Well if the brunette wanted nothing to do with him then fine! It had really hurt to be pushed away like that and the part of the redhead's mind that handled hurt worked under simple rules. If Aya hurt the one causing it would pay. In other words, if Ken hurt him by pushing him away the brunette would hurt by being completely ignored by Aya. Simple, fair and logical. 

If there was one person in that house that could play the game of ignoring others it was Aya. He huffed again and flipped over to his back. So if that was simple, fair and logical then why did it feel wrong, mean and unfair? Ken had problems, he was afraid and he needed help, that was something Aya couldn't just ignore. 

Then there was one other thing, that the redhead really didn't want to acknowledge. If he wasn't allowed to be close to Ken the way he had been when the brunette was asleep he would miss it. How or why Aya didn't know but he would miss it. It was confusing since the redhead really had no idea what was going on inside of him. 

Aya found himself getting even more annoyed. He was, for once, trying to reach out and show care and concern and what did he get in return. Ken had thrown it all right in his face and that had hurt so much. 

Since showing that he was hurt was out of the question Aya had only one other option and that was… being the person he had worked so hard to become for years. A cold hearted emotionless bastard. Suited him fine! Who needed emotions anyway?

"I don't care about Ken!" he stated firmly. Those words tasted bitter. "I do not care about Ken!" he said again and really put his heart into it. There that was firm enough for anyone to believe it, wasn't it? Growling at himself Aya got off the bed and marched out of his room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken desperately tried to keep his brain clear enough to hear what the woman infront of him was saying. It was impossible since he hadn't slept for… When was the last time he had slept? Ken tried to get a grip of his thoughts. About four days or so? And before that? 

Slowly he managed to sort the days out. It had been almost two months since he had argued with Aya and that night he hadn't even gone to bed. He knew he could function without sleep for about 3 days and then his body just shut down, but the nightmares didn't give a shit about how badly he needed to sleep. 

The last time he had crashed due to being awake for too long the nightmares had been worse than ever. Now he knew that he'd rather die than having to face them one more time, so he'd just have to stay awake.

"I don't think we should continue this any further today Hidaka-san," the woman said. Ken met her brown eyes and shook his head to lift the fog a little.

"Gomen nasai, Morioka-san," he sighed deeply. "I'm a little tired today." The shrink let out a huff and tilted her head.

"I know you're not sleeping. How long do you think that's going to work?" she asked flatly.

"I don't care! As long as those nightmares stick around I am not going to sleep again!" he snapped at her and narrowed his puffy eyes.

"Hidaka-san," she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You can barely walk straight because you're so tired, how long do you think it'll be before you really hurt yourself?"

"Hurt myself? Those dreams hurt me far more than not sleeping does," he snorted and refused to look at her. "And besides, it's not like sleeping gives me any rest!"

"I know, I know. Is there anything that eases the nightmares at all?" Ken winced at the question.

"Well… I… No," he mumbled.

"I'm going to answer that question for you Hidaka-san. Now I know you don't like me and I also know you doubt that I can help you. Therefor I'm going to show you what I've picked up from our sessions. The reason that you, as you called it, 'snapped' during a mission is the past you've tried to hide away by putting up that mask of smiles, cheerfullness and clumsiness." She paused for a moment and eyed him carefully.

"You feel guilty about all the people you've killed but deep down inside it's especially one murder that you're hung up on. Kase. Even more so it's the betrayal and what Kase said to you just before he died. At first you managed to run from it but eventually it all caught up to you on that night and it hit you like a ton of bricks, you had an anxiety attack." Again she stopped talking and he could feel her eyes on him. 

"When you no longer could run from your past the nightmares rooted themselves in your mind and you can't stand them. But there was something or rather someone that helped you. Fujimiya-san sat with you while you slept and that chased away the nightmares because you felt safe in his company, isn't that right?" 

Ken stared at her. Sure he had told her about all of those things, sort of, but he hadn't really expected her get so much from it.

"Well, yes."

"Ken listen to me," the black haired shrink said softly and for the first time used his first name. "You have scars inside, everybody does but most of us aren't assassins. The blood on your hands is something you can't accept and it hurts you a lot. But this fix idea you have about not sleeping isn't going to help you get through this." Ken squirmed on his seat. 

"Look at yourself. You've lost weight because you're too tired to eat, you have black circles around your eyes, you sludder when you talk, your hands shake, you can't focus… I could go on forever. The bottom line is… if you don't do something about this sleeping disorder you're going to permanently damage yourself."

"But what am I suppose to do?! Crawl to Aya on my hands and knees and beg him to please hold my hand while I get some sleep?" Ken almost screamed and allowed the woman to really hear how desperate he felt.

"As a psychiatrist I can't suggest that since that would become a habit and pretty soon you wouldn't be able to sleep without him as your security blanket. As a friend however, I would say yes but not only because of your nightmares. Ken you have feelings for this Fujimiya-san, feelings you're trying to hide and deny," she said slowly and looked at him until he finally met her eyes. That was one thing he was sure he hadn't told her though.

"I don't have feelings for Aya," he objected and glared at her.

"Is that so?" she smiled at him. "In your eyes I might just be an annoying dumb shrink but I am also a woman and as such I pick up on things." Ken gave her another glare and decided that it was time to bolt. This was getting way too uncomfortable.

"You have no idea of what the hell you're talking about," he growled and stormed out. Annoyed beyond himself the brunette pushed his helmet down and got on his bike. "Stupid woman!" he muttered to himself as the drove onto the street.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya looked up from the pots he was arranging in time to see a bike approach. It was being driven in a swaying manner that looked anything but safe. It was Ken. The redhead sighed. For two months he had been ignoring Ken as hard as he could but the state that the brunette was in had in no way escaped him. 

He watched as Ken stopped and drew in a sharp breath when the bike fell to the left trapping its owner underneath it. Aya rushed over and grunted at the heavy weight as he pulled the bike off of the assassin.

"Are you okay?" he muttered and more or less dragged Ken to his feet. The brunette pulled off his helmet and rubbed his dazed eyes. He looked awful.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the brunette answered with his voice thick and slow from lack of sleep.

"You really shouldn't ride around on that thing! You can't even stand up straight," Aya growled at him. He was concerned about Ken and since he couldn't show it he had to settle for sounding annoyed.

"Not sleeping tends to have that effect on a person," Ken sighed and walked away, or rather staggered.

"Not so fast!" The redhead grabbed his arm and turned him around. "What's going on here Ken? You look awful." _Screw ignoring him!_ Aya muttered in his head. _He looks like he's about to crash and burn at any moment._

"If I knew what was going on here I'd do something about it instead of trying to kill myself by not sleeping!" Ken snapped at him and tried to get his arm free. "And by the way I've stopped seeing that damn shrink! She's useless and jumps into conclusions that suggests that she needs a shrink more than I do."

"You held your end of the deal and I will hold mine," Aya nodded. "I'll back off if that's what you want me to do." For a moment Ken looked straight into his eyes.

"What difference does it make what I want Aya? We both know that we don't always get what we want," the brunette sighed with enough hurt to make the older man wince. "Just leave me alone." Shocked the redhead let him go. 

Amethyst eyes stared at the brunette's back. _What was that suppose to mean?_ Aya asked himself when Ken had disappeared. And just why did it hurt so much inside when the brunette's voice filled up with pain? The redhead shook his head to clear his thoughts. 

He wanted to help. No, that wasn't exactly true. He needed to help Ken. But what could he do? Ken had made it painfully clear that his help was no longer wanted, that Aya should stay the hell away from him. Sighing deeply he followed the brunette inside.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was late when Aya left his room. He couldn't sleep due to the constant brooding over Ken and the annoyance he felt because of it. Huffing to himself he stopped when he saw that the TV was on in the living-room. It wasn't a surprise that he found Ken sitting on the couch.

"Why don't you go to bed instead?" Aya asked flatly but got no answer. Carefully he approached the assassin only to realize that he was asleep. The redhead had spent enough time outside Ken's door to know his sleep patterns so he could tell that the brunette was at the beginning of a nightmare. His eyes darted back and forth under his eyelids and his breathing was rapid. 

"Why won't you let me help you?" Aya asked quietly and sighed. It hurt to see how badly Ken was doing just as it hurt not to be allowed to help. Carefully he sat down next to the brunette. They were so close to each other that their thighs touched which sent shivers up and down Aya's spine. 

The nightmare was getting worse a lot quicker than normally and it didn't take long before Ken started sweating and clutching his hands. For a moment the brunette seemed to be fighting something or someone then he threw himself to the left and ended up pressed against Aya's side. 

The redhead swallowed and slowly wrapped his arm around Ken's shaking shoulders. It was almost as if he had pushed a button to stop the nightmare. The slightly shorter man calmed down almost immediately and snuggled closer with a contented sigh.

"Aya," Ken murmured in his sleep and snaked an arm around the redhead's waist. The brunette's warm skin against his cool felt so good. Very carefully Aya moved to the other side of the couch and pulled Ken down onto his lap. For a moment the shorter man froze. "No, don't leave me Aya," he begged almost incoherent.

"I'm not going anywhere Ken," the redhead mumbled and ran his fingers through the soft brown hair he had missed so much. What was it about his presence that calmed Ken down so much? Would it make a difference if it was Omi or Yoji who sat with him instead? 

A selfish and jealous part of Aya muttered that there better be a difference, that only he could help Ken. The redhead silenced it quickly, this was no time to be selfish or jealous. Jealous? Aya frowned deeply. Oh no, it could be… It was impossible, wasn't it? 

Aya the Iceberg, the Icicle, Mr. I-have-icewater-in-my-veins-instead-of-blood, could not fall in love, especially not with… another man. The redhead bit his lower lip and restlessly picked at Ken's T-shirt. 

Okay so he did find the brunette attractive, why wouldn't he? Soft brown hair, warm brown eyes filled with kindness and care, softly tanned silky-smooth skin, well trained muscles, slender waist, cute butt... Aya shook his head and cursed himself. 

__

Would you stop doing that! I've seen Ken before thank you very much, he muttered to himself. So Ken had a lot of nice features, but why had they gotten so damn stuck on his mind? The amused voice that always pissed him off informed him that he was falling for his team-mate. 

Aya bit his lip. It sure looked that way didn't it? Not that it made the slightest difference since Ken obviously didn't return the feelings. Suddenly the redhead felt very tired and it had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn't been able to sleep.

"Aya-kun?" a sleepy voice asked. Omi walked in and looked at the pair on the couch with confusion in his half-lidded eyes. Aya mentally kicked himself and forced his tense body to relax.

"Hai Omi?"

"Is he having nightmares again?"

"Aa," came the bland answer.

"It's a good thing you sit with him then. He likes you a lot," Omi yawned and rubbed his face. Aya froze completely. Ken liked him? But that wasn't possible.

"I don't think Ken would agree with you there."

"Ken-kun is almost as stubborn about showing how he really feels as you are," the small blonde mumbled and turned around. "I'm going back to bed again." Amethyst eyes stared after Omi utterly shocked.

~TBC~

Okay I think I've lost my touch *sighs* They're all so OOC here it ain't even funny and it just keeps getting worse… They're almost OC:s instead. *bangs her head* I'm so sorry minna-san. I'm not sure I'll continue this fic any longer due to my complete failure on the IC-department… Hm or what do you think? *sighs* I need help minna!!!/Atsureki


	5. Chapter 4. A Stupid Thing To Do

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Loads of thanks to Jin, fei, Whisper Reilman and my other reviewers who pushed my selfasteem back up again *smiles* Without you wonderful ppl this chapter would never have made it to ff.net! *hugs for all of you* 

Chapter 4. A Stupid Thing To Do

Ken stretched and pulled the blanket tighter around him. He was in heaven or at least pretty close to it.

"Ken-kun, are you going to sleep all day?" a genki voice chirped. Huffing the brunette opened his left eye and glared at Omi.

"Get out of my room, I'm not getting up yet," he muttered and buried his face in the pillow.

"You're not in your room Ken-kun, you're on the couch. I'm surprised Aya-kun didn't wake you up before he started his shift in the shop." At the mention of Aya's name Ken snapped his eyes opened.

"What do you mean?" Omi smiled warmly at him.

"I would have thought his lap was a little too bony to make a good pillow," the blonde chuckled and more or less bounced out. _What the…_ Ken growled in his head. He remembered watching TV so that he wouldn't fall asleep but he had no memory of Aya or sleeping on his lap… again. Although that would explain why the nightmares had just stopped suddenly. 

Ken groaned. This was insane! Sure it helped him when Aya sat with him but how long would the redhead agree to that arrangement? It wasn't like Ken could keep on sleeping on that lap for the rest of his life. Not to mention that every time Aya was close to him it became a little harder to push away the feelings he was developing for the silent man. 

Just when had he started to fall for Aya? Ken didn't know and it really didn't matter. Sighing deeply he picked himself up from the couch and strolled out to the kitchen. There was one thing he hadn't tried though. The brunette chewed on his lip and sat down. 

His nutty shrink had suggested that he should try some sort of drug but he had refused. Drugs were bad and they never took away the problems, they just hid them. But did he really have any other choice now? Ken frowned slightly at that question. He was running out of options fast. 

Besides that there were other things that he couldn't quite understand. For two months Aya had ignored him completely, nightmares or no nightmares, so why had he suddenly come to the rescue again? The redhead had always been a mystery to Ken but this was something new. If Aya had been anybody else but Aya the answer would have been within reach but the silent man was who he was. 

The brunette ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. That morning when he had woken up in Aya's arms it had felt so right and he wanted that feeling again. Ken let out a quiet huff. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry about the mess he was in. With a glance at the time he fixed himself something to eat and sat down. In about 11 or 12 hours he would get sleepy again and unless Aya took pity on him one more time he'd be forced to stay awake all night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya glared around the Koneko and the young girls that swamped the place. He was tired, kranky and confused. After having, almost, admitted to himself that he had feelings for Ken he had thought his problems would… would bug him less, but no such luck. He wanted Ken in his bed. 

Aya raised an eyebrow and scowled at himself. Oh great now he was turning into some kind of sex-maniac. But the thought of a naked Ken in his arms was enticing. Aya shook his head and pushed away all thoughts he had about the brunette, or at least tried to. 

As if to really make his life a living hell the object of his problems walked past him, ignoring him completely. _He knows,_ the redhead groaned in his head. This time he had gone too far. The other two times Ken had asked for help but not last night. It had been wrong of him to go behind Ken's back like he had. 

The redhead mentally slapped himself for being so stupid. Ken had told him to stay away, to stop helping him but he had ignored that. On a brighter note the brunette looked much better. When he managed to get some sleep he seemed to be back to his normal self. 

Aya frowned slightly. Maybe he was overreacting? Ken would be fine now and Weiss could go back to business? A tug at his apron forced the redhead to drag his eyes from Ken.

"What?" he asked not too kindly.

"I said that I'm here for my shift now." Amethyst eyes glared into green.

"You're late Kudou," Aya said blandly, removed his apron and left. He needed to think about something that didn't have brown hair, chocolate-colored eyes and tanned skin.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken felt Aya's eyes on him and frowned. Why was he staring at him like that? Wasn't it bad enough that his head was filled with images of ivory skin, crimson hair and soft lips that kissed him until he couldn't breathe? Ken sighed deeply and tried to focus on helping a drooling girl pick out some flowers. 

The situation was disturbing to say the least. He would have to do something about it fast, before he found himself in one that would be so much more difficult to get out of. Ken wrapped up the flowers, exchanged them for money and left the shop. 

He knew that Yoji and Omi were staring at him but he just had to find a way out of this mess. The brunette had almost reached his motorcycle when he saw Aya. Their silent leader was standing beside it with an unreadable look in his pale face.

"Ken we need to talk," the redhead said quietly and looked at him. Ken swallowed. He did not want to talk to Aya!

"Later, I have some things to do," he answered flatly and tried to walk past his team-mate but a hand on his arm stopped him.

"We need to talk, now." The brunette groaned inside.

"Why?"

"I know I said I would back off but…" What was this? Aya showing hesitation?

"So why don't you?" Ken asked with uncertainty. This was confusing him so much.

"I… Ken I just want to ask…" Well that didn't exactly explain anything. The brunette tilted his head and stared at Aya.

"What is it Aya?" The soft question seemed to make the redhead even more unsure. For a moment they looked at each other and then Aya moved. 

In slow-motion Ken saw how the redhead's face came closer before their lips suddenly touched. It wasn't great nor did it last very long but it was a kiss none the less. When they parted again Aya's eyes were darkened with shock and something else that Ken couldn't read. A split second later the redhead was gone. Ken stared after him unable to move. Aya had kissed him. But why?

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya muttered sourly to himself as he walked outside. He would have to talk to Ken but what the hell was he suppose to say? It wasn't like he could just blurt out that he had certain feelings for the brunette and that he wanted him in his arms at night. 

Aya scowled at himself and stopped beside Ken's motorcycle. What was he going to say? Well he could ask why Ken didn't want his help anymore. Before he really could decide the brunette came walking towards him. _Shit!_ Aya cursed in his head. He needed more time but Ken was already infront of him.

"Ken we need to talk," Aya said quietly and met brown eyes. The brunette looked uncomfortable and like he would rather be anywhere but there.

"Later, I have some things to do," came the short answer. Ken tried to walk past him but Aya took a hold of his arm.

"We need to talk, now," Aya insisted and tried to mentally slap himself into thinking.

"Why?"

"I know I said I would back off but…" _Fujimiya you idiot!_ the redhead spat out in his head. _Would you make some sence?! And for crying out loud stop sounding like some stuttering moron!_

"So why don't you?" Ken asked sounding rather confused.

"I… Ken I just want to ask…" Aya mumbled. He didn't know what to say, what to do anymore and having Ken so close was making him even more confused.

"What is it Aya?" the brunette asked softly. 

That was all Aya could take. For the first time in his life the redhead found himself acting without a single thought in his head. He moved forward and simply pressed his lips against Ken's. It took about one second before his brain caught up with his body. Completely shocked by himself Aya pulled away and stared at the brunette. Lost in confusion the redhead swirled around and almost ran away from Ken.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya paced his room restlessly. One, two, three, turn. One, two, three, turn. One, two, three, turn. Over and over again he walked back and forth. He had been doing it for hours now and still his mind was a mess. One, two, three, turn. One, two, three, turn. The pacing didn't help him one bit. One, two… He stopped suddenly.

"I kissed him!" the redhead exclaimed loudly and sank down on the bed. Of all the idiotic things in the world that he could have done he had kissed Ken. 

Aya hugged his head and whimpered to himself. What was wrong with him? It was one thing to have feelings for someone, to lust after someone but to force a kiss on someone was a whole different thing. Sure Omi had said that Ken liked him a lot but that did in now way mean that Ken wanted Aya to kiss him. 

Besides that, Ken was a man! Not a girl, a man! And probably so disgusted with Aya that he'd never be able to look at him ever again. A knock on the door sent the redhead several feet up into the air.

"Aya-kun?" Aya swallowed down his heart again and took a deep breath.

"Yes Omi?"

"Manx is here." The redhead rose and started pacing again. If Manx was there he'd have to go to the mission room and face Ken.

"I'll be right there," he heard himself answer.

"Okay," Omi said and left. Aya straightened himself and followed the blonde. He was the last one to enter the room and stayed as far away from the others as he possibly could. Ken didn't turn around and just sat stiffly on the couch.

"Glad you could join us Abyssinian," Manx commented and glared a little at the redhead. Aya chose not to say anything. "I have a small mission for two of you. It's a simple grab and go. The target has a folder that doesn't belong to him and I want two of you to go to his house, find the folder, kill the target if he interferes, and leave."

"When?" Omi asked.

"Tonight. I'm sorry I can't give you more time but this mission needs to happen as fast as possible. I want Balinese and Siberian to go." Four pairs of eyes stared at Manx. Aya sighed inside. So Kritiker wanted to test Ken. But it was too soon, wasn't it?

"I'm in," Yoji shrugged looking like the whole thing was boring him to no end.

"I'm in too," Ken said firmly without hesitation. _Maybe I'm wrong,_ the redhead pondered, _Ken seems to be okay with taking a mission_. What really bothered Aya was that he wasn't allowed to go with the brunette to keep an eye on him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Aya-kun would you please stop gritting your teeth," Omi begged the redhead and turned up the volume on the TV.

"Hn," Aya mumbled and tried to relax. Yoji and Ken should be home any minute now. It was hell to sit and wait for them to return. 

Had something gone wrong? Was Ken hurt? Aya frowned. He couldn't go on like this, he was like some worried mother who had allowed her son to cross the road for the first time on his own. Ken was a grown man and he could take care of himself! With a huff he managed to firmly put his cold mask in place.

"I think they're back now," Omi suddenly said and jumped up from the couch. Slowly Aya rose and followed him. He could hear voices.

"Will you hang on to the folder Omi?" he heard Yoji say.

"Sure."

"I'll go up and clean myself." That was Ken's voice but it sounded a little bit wrong. With a very slight frown Aya walked closer. Ken had blood on his face and on his clothes but looked unharmed otherwise. 

For a brief second brown eyes met amethyst and then the brunette walked towards the stairs. Something was wrong with Ken, Aya could see it but what could he do about it? Nothing. 

Sighing quietly he headed upstairs too. The door to Ken's room was closed and he could hear his team-mate moving around inside. Aya walked into his own room and closed the door. For a moment silence filled his ears and then he heard a crash coming from the room next to his. As quickly as he could Aya headed for Ken's door.

"Ken?" he asked. Not a sound was heard. 

"Ken!" Still nothing. Slowly the redhead tried the door and swung it open when he found it unlocked. The room was dark and the smell of blood was lingering in the air. 

"Ken are you in here?" Aya frowned deeply when he got no answer that time either and stepped inside. The moon was the only source of light and it made it hard to tell one shadow from another. Narrowed amethyst eyes stopped at a mess on the floor. 

A broken chair littered the floor along with a form that looked human. Quickly Aya reached for the light-switch and the room bathed in light. The form on the floor was Ken. He was curled up in a ball much in the same way as he had the night when he had snapped during that mission. 

Aya carefully kneeled beside the brunette and touched his shoulder. Ken's skin was wet from sweat. _Not again,_ the redhead sighed inside. His fellow assassin had had another anxiety attack. 

"Ken wake up." The brunette's heartbeats were dangerously rapid and his breathing almost non-existing. 

"Please Ken wake up."

*~*~*~*~*~*~

A man walked up to him and gave him a accusing look. The face infront of him was mutilated and bloody just like the others had been.

"How could you just kill me?" the man asked. "You left my children fatherless." Another man came up to him trying to keep his intrails inside his stomach.

"What did I ever do to you? You slaughtered me without even knowing my name." Ken hugged himself and desperately tried to push the nightmare away.

"I'll wait for you in hell." That voice he knew. Ken looked up and stared into Kase's eyes. "You killed me. I thought I was your friend and you killed me. You're going to hell and I'll wait for you there along with everybody else you've killed," Kase smiled and gestured to the never ending line of people Ken had murdered. 

A scream escaped the brunette's lips but no sound was heard. It was always the same, but this time he couldn't wake up. A tall blonde man approached him. His head was almost separated from his neck.

"You claim you want to protect the innocent, the children, but you've just robbed two little girls from ever seeing their daddy again. How can you even live with yourself?" That was the man he had killed earlier that night. Ken cried and pressed his hand over his mouth.

"Help me," he begged and closed his eyes. "Aya help me."

"What makes you think he's going to help you?" Kase asked with glee. "Aya doesn't care about you, no one cares about you Kenken. You're no better than us, you should be dead too."

"Ken-kun what did you do to these people?" a soft voice asked. This was not a part of the normal nightmare.

"Omi. Please help me Omi." The slender blonde shook his head.

"Ken-kun you killed your best friend. One day you might kill me too." Ken sank down on the bloody floor and sobbed.

"Aya," he pleaded again. There was something wrong with the nightmare. Usually he would have woken up screaming by now but this time he couldn't.

"You told Aya you didn't want his help," Omi said matter-of-factly. "You said that he should leave you alone, remember?"

"But I didn't mean…"

"You're so stupid Kenken," Kase interrupted him. "Aya could have saved you from all this but you pushed him away. He's not going to help you this time because he doesn't really care about you!" Ken fought the tears and whimpered.

"He does care about me!" he exclaimed and hugged himself.

"What makes you so sure Kenken?" Kase asked with a cruel smirk on his lips.

"Aya kissed me, he does care…" the brunette mumbled.

"Poor little naïve Kenken," Kase sighed with pity and patted his former friend on the head. "Always the last one to find out, ne? Yes, Aya does care or rather he used to care but since you pushed him away… I think it's safe to say that he's stopped caring." Ken felt tears run down his cheeks. Aya had reached out to him and he had pushed the redhead away. Kase was right.

"I… I…"

"No one is going to help you now! You're trapped here just like I am Kenken," Kase laughed and his eyes started shining with sadistic glee. "Welcome to hell my friend."

"Aya, please help me!" Suddenly a soft hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Ken wake up." That deep smooth voice was like a life-line and the brunette grabbed it with both hands. 

"Please Ken wake up."

~TBC~

Poor Kenken *hugs him* And Kase should die all over again for being so mean to him! *bah* Now… can Aya help poor Ken? How has this new attack affected our darling brunette??? Guess you'll have to wait to find that out *wicked laughter* And yes I am working on the next chapter *promises* Ja/Atsureki


	6. Chapter 5. An Empty Shell

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 5. An Empty Shell

Ken numbly picked up another rose and started picking off the thorns. Everything he did went on routine. If he was confronted with something new he was at a loss. A thorn pricked him but he didn't even feel it. His head was so foggy and his body felt heavy, like it wasn't really his.

"Ken-kun?" The brunette turned slowly and set his blank eyes on Omi.

"Yes Omi," he answered without a single emotion in his voice.

"It's time to close." Ken put down the flower and slowly rose from the chair he had been sitting on.

"Yes Omi."

"Ken-kun are you alright?" The brunette looked into big blue eyes and felt… nothing.

"Yes Omi." 

It had been like that for over a month now. He was dead inside due to the drugs his shrink had subscribed for him. There were no more nightmares and when he went on missions he killed without even thinking about it, he didn't feel anything at all anymore. The only emotion he could muster was…detachment. 

Completely numb inside Ken went through the stages that closing the shop called for. When he was done he took off his apron and headed for his room. Something in his life was missing, something was very wrong but he couldn't understand what it was. 

Didn't really matter though, he did what they told him to do and that was it. Sometimes when no one told him what do he was just so very lost, like his whole purpose in life was to obey his team-mates.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya watched as Ken walked up the stairs with an expression of complete emptiness in his face. The brunette didn't smile anymore, didn't laugh, never did anything except what he was told to do. Ken was a puppet, an emotionless puppet created by drugs. 

Aya sighed deeply and shook his head. That fucking shrink should be run over by a very large truck, preferbly several times! The redhead gritted his teeth. It was his fault that Ken had gone to see her and started on those damn drugs that were suppose to keep his attacks in check.

"Aya-kun?" The redhead turned around.

"Aa?" Omi looked at Ken's disappearing back and sighed.

"Is he suppose to be like that?" Aya let out a quiet huff. Was Ken suppose to be like that?

"Hn," was the only thing he could get out.

"But he's not Ken anymore," Omi said sadly and Aya had to agree.

"I know Omi." he sighed.

"Well? Aren't you going to do something about it then?" Aya stared at the blonde who frowned at him. Omi wanted him to do something about it? But what? 

When Ken had come around after his last attack he had been so broken it had almost crushed Aya. The brunette had clinged to him and screamed hystericly if anyone even thought that Aya should leave him. It had been awful. Finally they had been forced to call a doctor who had showed up and given the brunette enough sedativs to bring down an elephant. 

The redhead had talked to Morioka who had suggested that Ken should be put on drugs that would 'shield' him from his anxiety attacks. It was just that instead of helping the brunette, the drugs had taken him away, leaving behind an empty shell.

"What can I do?" Aya answered Omi's question with another one. The strange tone in his deep voice made the blonde stare at him. He felt so helpless and he hated it. Aya left the small blonde before he had a chance to say anything else. 

When he reached the top of the stairs the redhead saw Ken. The brunette was standing outside his door staring into thin air. He did that a lot lately. Sometimes Ken got lost in the house. Aya could find him standing in the kitchen without a clue of how to get back to his own room and that was unnerving.

"Ken?" he asked quietly and saw how the brunette slowly turned around and set his dead eyes on him.

"Yes Aya?"

"Is something wrong?" Ken's expressionless face twitched a little at that.

"Yes… no… I don't know," he said with uncertainty. "I… I don't know where I am." Aya cried inside. This couldn't go on any longer! Ken couldn't tell left from right and the complete lack of anything human in his eyes was awful.

"Ken, you have to stop taking those drugs!" the redhead said firmly and came closer.

"But Morioka-san said I had to take them," Ken objected with his empty voice.

"Screw her! I want those bottles Ken!" Aya demanded and opened the door to the brunette's room. "I don't give a shit about what she said! Give me the bottles!" Ken nodded but didn't move.

"Aya, where am I?" It wasn't until Aya looked into Ken's brown eyes that he understood what it was the brunette really meant by that. He didn't mean that he didn't know where he was in the house, he meant that he didn't know where he, Ken, was. The redhead had to fight hard to keep himself from crying. Ken was lost and the worst part of it was that the brunette knew it.

"Ken I don't know but… you have to stop taking those damn pills. It's because of them you're lost." The brunette blinked slowly and nodded again.

"They're on the table."

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What you're doing is very dangerous!" Aya glared at the short woman before him.

"I don't care!"

"Taking Ken off those drugs like that could put him into a psychosis Fujimiya-san!" Morioka said harshly.

"Is that so? Well have you seen him lately?! He's not even Ken anymore! He's just some puppet who'll jump if you tell him to," Aya snarled and set his violet ice eyes at the shrink. "You said that those drugs would help him but they're not helping him!"

"No drug is perfect," Morioka snorted. "He's doing missions again, isn't he? There have been no more screw-ups during them, which means that he's back in action." The redhead clenched his jaws together so hard his teeth hurt.

"Missions? I don't give a shit about missions! Ken is not some damn doll you can toy with. He's a person or at least he used to be. Now thanks to you and your drugs he's an emotionless shell! Some days he's so high he can't even find his way back to his own room!" Aya snarled and sent the shrink backing up against the wall.

"Listen to me Fujimiya-san! Ken is very fragile and those drugs are the only thing keeping him sane at the moment," Morioka said flatly and nervously tried to put some distance between herself and the enraged redhead.

"You call that sane?!" Aya asked with his voice low and dangerous as he pointed to Ken who was standing in the middle of the kitchen staring into space. "Watch this and then tell me if you think he's alright!" With a deadly glare at the shrink Aya turned around. "Ken, come here." The brunette pulled away from his staring and did as he was told.

"Yes, Aya."

"Sit Ken."

"Yes, Aya." Obediently the brunette sat down on a chair.

"Stand up." Ken rose again.

"Sit." Ken sat down.

"Stand up." Ken rose again. "Is that sane?" Amethyst eyes turned to the shrink again.

"So he's a little…" Aya shut her up by turning his glare ten times colder.

"A little what??? He's a damn cocker spaniel! I don't care how you do it but you are going to sort this out!" the redhead growled. Feeling guilty about the way he had treated Ken he again turned to him. "Ken why don't you go upstairs and take a nap," he suggested softly.

"Yes, Aya." Much like a dog who had been given a command the brunette trotted up the stairs.

"He has no will of his own anymore and he doesn't know left from right, up from down. Fix it!" Aya snarled under his breath and stalked after Ken. 

The redhead wanted to cry. Ken got more and more lost with each day. Those drugs had killed his spirits and Aya couldn't take it a moment longer. He wanted the normal Ken back, the one who smiled, dropped pots, played soccer with the kids and had nightmares that Aya had to help him with. 

The redhead winced at that. Okay so that was selfish but dammit he wanted it back! Carefully he looked inside Ken's room and found it empty. _That's strange,_ Aya thought, _where did he go?_ Frowning to himself the redhead went to his own room. Ken was sleeping on his bed. Why had he gone there? Sighing a little Aya sat down beside the sleeping brunette.

"I will bring you back Ken, I promise," the redhead whispered and ran his fingers through soft brown hair. Carefully he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Ken's. _Please just be alright Ken,_ he begged in his head and pulled a blanket over his sleeping friend. 

Aya rose from the bed and walked across the floor to close the door. He was tired or rather, he was exhausted. Without really thinking about it he laid down next to Ken and pulled the brunette into his arms. 

The warm body still felt the same. On the outside Ken was the same but on the inside he was… missing. Sighing sadly Aya closed his eyes and buried his face against soft brown hair. He would get Ken back, he had to. Fate had brought his sister back to him and it would damn well do the same with the brunette!

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken woke up slowly and opened his eyes. Inside he felt so jaded, so lost and he couldn't understand why. He rubbed his cheek against his pillow and drew in its familier scent. Despite his lack of emotions he felt safe there, with arms wrapped around him and someone else's heartbeats in his ear. His dull brain twisted the information it received for a while before it sent a message to his body. 

Something was wrong with the picture it painted. Ken ignored it. He was too tired mentally to care about why his brain objected. The arms around him pulled him closer and the brunette sighed with content. He hadn't felt so many things since he had started taking those drugs. 

A part of his brain informed him that he should have taken his pills hours ago. Automaticly Ken freed himself from Aya and sat up. His brain processed for a while before it told him that Aya had said that he shouldn't take the pills anymore.

"Aya?" Ken asked and looked beside him. Yes, the redhead was sleeping there. But why was Aya in his bed? Ken looked around and tried to get himself to think clearer. It wasn't his room, it was much too neat and tidy to be his room.

"Aya?" he asked again and felt so helpless. Why couldn't he think straight? Why didn't he feel anything? Actually he could feel something. He felt… he felt… Ken let out a low whimper as he racked his brain to find an answer. 

Tears he couldn't understand ran down his cheeks and the brunette returned to the only place where he had found feelings since he had lost himself. Crying silently Ken curled up against Aya again, holding on to the redhead, desperately searching himself for anything that could confirm that he was still human.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Amethyst eyes glared at Manx but their owner still hadn't said a word. The woman infront of them paced back and forth.

"Ran?" At the sound of his real name the redhead frowned.

"Aa."

"Kritiker is very unhappy with you," Manx said quietly and stopped her pacing. Aya snorted. Like he cared.

"Hn."

"They're impatience you know that. Siberian has been out of action for over three months and now he's finally back and you want to…"

"Siberian isn't back," he said flatly. "Ken is Siberian and he's not there anymore." Manx knitted her eyebrows together.

"How bad is it?"

"You know those little robotic dogs that all the kids have?" Aya asked coldly.

"What about them?"

"Minus the batteries that's Ken. He walks around the house like a zombie and most of the time he can't find his way around the place even though he's lived here for years." Manx frown deepened at that.

"I was afraid this was going to happen," she sighed. "Morioka has been working for Kritiker for years and years and she's extremely good at getting her job done but… the price is usually very high."

"She's cutting his doses down gradually."

"Has she told you about the risks?" Aya raised an eyebrow.

"Aa."

"Ran you do understand that this could destroy Ken," Manx said quietly. Aya didn't need to hear that. He was already concerned enough and constantly worried about whether or not he was doing the right thing. But he had to get Ken back, it was the only thing he wanted.

"I know," he sighed. "It's on my mind constantly."

~TBC~

Okay the drug Ken's on here is my stuff so there might not be anything like that on the market but then again there's a lot of strange drugs for ppl who others think are insane. *did that sentense make any sense at all????* Anyways let's hope that Aya can bring back Kenken ne? *hugs Aya to urge him on* Don't just stand there go help Ken!!! 

I'm sorry that the chapters have gotten shorter but since I'm back at school and I'm juggling three fics again I suspected that you would prefer shorter chapters and faster updates. The only chapters that still are the same length is When I don't remember which means that the updates won't be as fast on that one. But then again you got a new chappy for that one yesterday hm or was it the day before yesterday? Damned be this blonde hair! Ja/Atsureki


	7. Chapter 6. Confession To A Sleeping Assa...

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 6. Confession To A Sleeping Assassin

Ken felt… unbalanced. It was almost as if someone had taken away everything he was and then fed it back to him, one piece at a time. He should be happy but the truth was that he wasn't ready to face all of his feelings and memories. Disturbed by the whole situation the brunette looked at his hands, they were shaking badly. 

Nervously he licked his lips and let his eyes dart around the room. He didn't feel safe and he was scared. It was difficult to breathe since his lungs felt too small and his chest was so tight. The room around him seemed to shrink until he barely could fit inside anymore. 

With a low scream he sank down on his knees and struggled to get enough air into his body. He had just taken a nap and for the first time in almost two months he had had another nightmare. It was just that when he woke up the nightmare hadn't stopped, the people he had slaughtered in cold blood were still with him. 

Brown eyes widened in panic. He couldn't take it, it was just too much. He wanted help, security but where could he find that? His overloaded brain raced as he desperately pleaded for an answer. Anything, he'd settle for anything, as long as it made the voices and flashes from memories go away. Finally his brain seemed to have found what he needed. Crying hystericly Ken called out for what his mind knew was his rescue.

"AYA!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya put down his glasses and left the living-room. He wanted to check on Ken one more time before his shift started. Morioka had been cutting back on the drugs for almost three weeks now and the brunette was returning, slowly at first, but something wasn't right. 

So far Ken hadn't had any nightmares or showed any signs of having psychoses but still something felt wrong. Aya frowned as he headed for the stairs. Ken would still need to see a shrink but Morioka wasn't getting anywhere near him as long as the redhead was alive. Scowling at the thought of the female psychologist Aya stopped. 

Annoyed with himself he turned around and went back downstairs. With a low huff he walked back into the living-room and picked up his book. If he left it there it would most likely be used to put cups or plates on. Yoji had a serious problem with spilling food and drinks on others' stuff. He had just turned around when he heard it.

"AYA!" The scream was filled with fear, panic and desperation. Aya dropped the book and bolted for Ken's room. The stairs flashed past him faster than what should be humanly possible. 

In his hurry the redhead almost ran right through the door to Ken's room. The brunette was kneeling on the floor, crying and gasping for air. Brown eyes filled with panic met amethyst and seemed to beg for help. Aya fell to his knees and pulled Ken into his arms.

"Sch Ken. Calm down. I'm right here. There's nothing to be scared of Ken. Sch. No one is going to hurt you. Just calm down. I won't leave you." Soft comforting words floated from the redhead's lips as he gently rocked Ken back and forth. The broken man seemed to cling to his words so Aya kept on talking not really aware of what he was saying. 

"Don't let it get to you Kenken. It's just dreams and memories, things in your past. I won't let them take you away from me Ken. I care too much about you. Just calm down. I'll help you." 

Ken stilled in his arms and his breathing was calm again. Carefully Aya looked down at the man in his arms. The brunette was asleep curled up like a little child in his mother's arms. Gently the redhead picked his friend up and carried him to the bed. A low whimper of objection was heard from Ken as Aya let go of him. 

"Sch, I said I wouldn't leave you Ken and I won't." Slowly Aya laid down beside the brunette and wrapped his arms around him.

"Stay Aya," Ken mumbled in his sleep and buried his face in the redhead's shirt. Aya's hand shook and he caressed the brunette's soft hair. What he felt for Ken was much more than a need to protect and he didn't want to deny it anymore. But could he confess? The redhead drew in a deep breath.

"I think I've… I've… fallen in… in love with you," he whispered and closed his eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Omi closed the door to Ken's room and smiled softly. His two team-mates were asleep in each other's arms. He had heard Ken's desperate cry for Aya and had gone to see if he could help. But it seemed like the redhead had the situation under control. Ken had calmed down and Aya had carried him to bed. 

The quiet whisper from the redhead's lips hadn't escaped the young blonde either. Omi leaned against the door and hummed softly to himself. It was funny how he had seen for months that the brunette and the redhead had feelings for each other and yet the two assassins had seemed completely unaware of it. It was about time that at least one of the two realized it. Slowly the short blonde padded downstairs.

"Take care of him Aya-kun," he mumbled and smiled again. His feet lead him into the store where Yoji was trying to keep the school-girls under control.

"Where's our fearless leader?" the lanky playboy asked when Omi showed up alone for his shift.

"He's with Ken. You'll cover his shift won't you Yoji-kun?" Omi asked sweetly and put on his apron. The taller blonde muttered sourly.

"But I have a date and I..." The look on his youngest team-mate's face made him change his mind though. "…will cancel just for you bishounen." Omi smiled at him and turned to the first drooling girl that would start the process of wearing him out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken carefully opened his eyes and took a peek at the real world. It seemed safe to be awake this time. His hand took a tighter hold of slender fingers. Inside he was still a little numb and confused but at least he could feel most emotions that he had lacked for so long. Aya was holding him almost possessivly and he didn't mind at all. With the redhead's arms around him and his heartbeats in his ear Ken felt safe. 

Carefully the brunette studied the silent man who had saved him so many times. Aya looked relaxed, contented and the bland mask was nowhere to be seen. Smiling softly to himself Ken breathed in the smell that was Aya. After the redhead had kissed him that day Ken had realized things both about himself and about the redhead. 

He wanted Aya, not just to help him with the nightmares and his other problems but as… well… his. Judging by the kiss and the way the redhead took care of him his feelings had to be returned no matter how impossible it might seem. They were alike even if most people would disagree. 

Both of them hid behind masks, different masks but still masks. Aya spent most of his time alone and still Ken could tell that he disliked solitude. The cold emotionless facade the redhead showed everybody was there to protect him just like Ken's smiles protected him from the harsh reality that had almost managed to crush him. 

All those things were part of why the brunette was falling for Aya and he knew it. With another soft smile on his lips Ken touched the crimson hair that spilled out over the pillow.

"I don't know what's going to happen Aya," he whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible. "But I'm falling in love with you…" Ken added and felt his heart beat like a drum at his silent confession. Softly he rested his head against Aya's chest and sighed with content.

~TBC~

I know, I know this was real short but this chapter was hell and then some to write *shakes her head* Anyways it looks like we're getting somewhere ne? Great job guys *pats Aya and Ken* Now don't screw this up please!

Oh I won't make any promises but the rating on this fic might change to a NC-17 soon *hehe* We'll see if Rika-chan can't whip up a lemon for the lovely bishounen *rubs hands* Anyways was this way too OOC??? Please lemme know. Ja/Atsureki


	8. Chapter 7. Touching

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 7. Touching

Brown eyes opened and took in the dark silence that filled his room. Aya was still asleep and hadn't moved at all by the feel of it. Ken buried his nose in the redhead's shirt and filled his lungs with the masculine, almost spicy scent that followed Aya wherever he went. 

Ever since the silent man had joined Weiss he had been out of reach, untouchable, for everybody. Yet there he was now within reach and Ken wanted nothing more than to touch him, feel him. Carefully, almost hesitant, the brunette placed his hand on Aya's chest. 

The shirt kept him from feeling the redhead's skin so Ken curiously unbuttoned two of the buttons and pushed the shirt apart slightly. A flat ivory stomach greeted his brown gaze. Gently he ran his fingertips over the newly found area and smiled. Aya's skin was so warm and soft, nothing like the cold, hard mask he put up for all to see and fear. 

With each centimeter he touched Ken grew bolder. His hand caressed the smooth skin and drew a low moan from the sleeping assassin. He knew it could turn out to be a mistake but he didn't really care, all he wanted was to feel Aya. Carefully his hand traveled higher and stroked over the redhead's ribs and chest. 

Ken couldn't see what he touched but he didn't have to, the sensation of skin against skin was enough at the moment. One of his fingers brushed over a small nub that hardened under the caress and drew a soft sigh from Aya. The shift in the redhead's breathing told Ken that he was awake but he continued his exploration. 

Suddenly slender ivory fingers showed up and unbuttoned the rest of the shirt, allowing it to fall apart. Ken's brown eyes ran over the smooth, pale but strong chest with fascination and awe. More than a little nervous the brunette leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the smooth warm skin. 

Aya tasted almost exactly like he smelled, masculine and spicy. Some part of Ken's brain told him that the redhead might not accept his actions but he silenced it quickly. The brunette wanted this and he was going to go as far as Aya would let him. Besides, so far he had been encourage to continue so that was what he was going to do. 

His lips moved across the flawless skin but he needed more. Carefully Ken allowed his tongue to dart out. The redhead moaned softly, shifted slightly and then a hand pulled the brunette's face up. Brown eyes met amethyst that were shining with something Ken couldn't put words to. 

Aya leaned forward and connected their lips. The kiss was gentle and questioning at first, then Ken decided to push his luck a little. His tongue caressed Aya's lips asking for access and it was granted willingly. The brunette felt the kiss deepen slowly and then his tongue met another. 

Moaning softly Ken relished the sensation of exploring the taller man's mouth, tasting and touching everything he could reach. Aya's hand gently ran through his hair and drew him even closer. Just before Ken's lungs started begging for air the spell was broken. 

The redhead ended the kiss and sank back against the pillows. Again the room was silence but the brunette wanted more. But when he tried to claim Aya's lips again he was stopped. Confused he looked into the gem-like eyes.

"Aya, I…" he almost whispered.

"Not like this Ken," the redhead said softly. Ken didn't understand and searched the taller man's eyes from an answer.

"Why?" he finally asked. Didn't Aya want him?

"We're moving too fast Ken." The brunette frowned slightly and pulled back.

"I don't understand," he mumbled and felt a sting of hurt inside.

"I care a lot about you and I don't want to rush into this. Please Ken, give me some time, give yourself some time." Ken sighed but nodded. Aya was right, things were moving a little too fast for both of them. He wasn't sure about the redhead but he himself was a virgin and rushing things could lead to mistakes which was the last thing he wanted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya could see that his words hurt Ken but he had to say them before something went wrong. He wanted Ken more than anything but at the same time he didn't want to rush things and risk ruining them. 

Besides, he was still a bit shocked over the way he had woken up. The brunette's touch had felt so right and he had longed for it for so long. But he could wait a little more just to make sure it was what they both wanted. 

Aya wrapped his arms around Ken's warm body and pulled him close. At the moment he was satisfied with having the brunette close and knowing that he was wanted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Koneko was quiet as Aya slowly prepared it for another day of crazy school-girls. He still had an hour before the shop was going to open so he had time to think about what had happened earlier. The brunette was in the backroom and every now and then his head showed up to see where Aya was. 

It was a bit distrubing that Ken kept checking that he was still there. Morioka's word echoed in the redhead's head. '_If you're not careful Fujimiya-san you might end up being just another drug for Hidaka-san. You're already dangerously close at becoming his security blanket._' 

Aya frowned and bit his lip. That wasn't what he wanted. Sure he would do anything in his power to always be there for Ken but the brunette needed to be able to function without him. Sighing he bent down to pick up some papers that had fallen to the floor. He didn't really know how dependent Ken was on him and had no idea of how to find out either. The sounds of footsteps approached and Aya knew that it was the brunette, he could feel it.

"Aya?" On a whim the redhead decided not to answer. Since he was infront of the desk Ken couldn't see him. "Aya!?" The brunette's voice sounded concerned and a little bit scared. "AYA!" The red haired assassin slowly rose from the floor and sighed inside. This was not good.

"I'm right here Ken," he said softly and met brown eyes shining with mild panic.

"Why didn't you answer?" the brunette asked and came closer.

"I'm sorry I was lost in thoughts," Aya lied smoothly. Ken pressed himself against the redhead and Aya could feel that he was shaking. Gently he put an arm around the brunette and gave him a little hug. He would have to back off from Ken. Aya's inside objecting but he knew he had to back off, at least a little. 

"I'm gonna make some deliveries later today. I'll leave as soon as the morning rush is over." The touch of panic returned in Ken's eyes. _I'm sorry Ken but you have to be able to be by yourself,_ Aya sighed inside. He took a step back and returned to the papers he had picked up from the floor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Inside Ken screamed in protest when Aya told him he would be left alone. It scared him that he needed the redhead so badly but what could he do? The real world felt unsafe when Aya wasn't near him. Ken swallowed. He would have to get a grip on his fears though since he couldn't very well follow the redhead everywhere. 

The brunette licked his lips and pulled himself together the best he could. He had a life that waited for him and that life didn't include having Aya constantly by his side, even if that was something he really wanted and not because of his nightmares. What if his memories came back to haunt him after the redhead had left? 

Ken walked back to the backroom and hugged himself. He knew that alone he wouldn't be able to figh off Kase and the other ghosts from his past. Shaking he went back to work and pushed away the fears that clouded his thoughts.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken watched as Aya drove off to make the deliveries. The redhead would be gone for about two hours and that was two hours too much. Shuddering Ken went back inside and started putting together the first flower arrangement on the list Aya had left behind. 

As long as he was occupied he could keep himself from thinking. He picked up a rose and stripped it from its thorns. That flower reminded him of Aya. Beautiful and soft if you knew where to touch and hard and spikey if you rubbed it the wrong way. Smiling softly to himself Ken kept on working. 

All too soon he had finished the four arrangements and was faced with having nothing to do. The panic came almost at once. Trembling he started pacing the shop looking for something, anything to occupy his time. He watered the plants, moved pots here and there, swept the floor twice, watered some more, moved back the pots and then finally Aya walked back in. 

Ken had to restrain himself from running up to the redhead and pounce on him, but he had made it. He had spent two hours all by himself without Aya there to keep him safe.

~TBC~

I know, I know you wanted a lemon… But seriously it felt wrong to smack on a lemon here. *nods* I hate rushing into sex-scenes and the timing was all wrong here. But I can almost promise you all that there will be one later on *nods again* Ja/Atsureki


	9. Chapter 8. Understanding The Man Behind ...

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

This chapter sucks! Just so you know *bangs her head against the wall* I have no idea of what the hell I was thinking, or if I even was thinking at all, but… ARGH well here it is *sigh deeply* They're all way OOC and I don't know who is worse, Omi, Ken or Aya *grits teeth* Now go read and I'll be busy trying to kill myself in the bathroom! *grabs a heavy book to smash her head in with*

Chapter 8. Understanding The Man Behind The Mask

Ken seemed to have dealt with being alone and that relaxed Aya somewhat. But that had been for two hours what would happen if he was gone for a long time? Or if it was by night? Aya sighed inside. The fact that Ken couldn't sleep alone had already been painfully proven several times and even if the redhead was willing to expose Ken to being alone during the day he was in no way going to abandon the brunette at night. 

He had promised he would help, that he wouldn't leave, that he would take care of Ken and there wasn't a fiber in his being that was willing to break those promises. The question was, was he helping of hurting the brunette by sticking to his word? Aya sighed again. Why did everything always have to be so damn complicated? 

He turned around and watched Ken help one of the school-girls. The small smile on his face wasn't real but then it wasn't a complete fake one either. Almost as if Ken could feel Aya's eyes on him he turned around and the half smile turned into a full one. The redhead almost answered it before he went back to not listening to a small blonde girl who was babbling about something.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was dark outside and thunder shook the house every now and then. Yawning widely Ken padded from his room to Aya's door. He had waited until he was sure Omi and Yoji had gone to bed so that they wouldn't notice how he snuck into their leader's bedroom. Without knocking he entered and walked up to the bed. 

Amethyst eyes met his but no words were spoken. Instead the redhead just moved over slightly and held up the covers inviting Ken to join him. The brunette slid down beside the older assassin but didn't touch him. He didn't want to push things and he was curious of seeing whether or not Aya would want him closer. 

The answer came almost immediately. He was poked in the back and willingly turned to lie on his side. Aya's chest pressed against his back and strong pale arms wrapped around him. Ken smiled to himself. He was being spooned by Aya! The redhead nuzzled his neck softly and made his whole body tingle.

"Aya?" he asked quietly.

"Aa," came the hushed reply against his skin. The redhead continued nuzzling his neck and cool fingers played over his bare arms. Ken turned his head to the left and captured Aya's lips. The kiss was soft, caring but didn't really hold any of the lust it had that morning.

"Aya…" the brunette mumbled when their lips parted.

"Aa."

"I think I love you." At those words the redhead froze completely and the arms around Ken were removed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I think I love you." Aya went completely rigid at that. Without thinking he withdrew his arms from around Ken. It wasn't that he didn't want to hear those words, it was just that… he was scared. Were Ken's feelings for him real or was it just a result of the brunette needing him? Could he honestly dig up the emotions that loving Ken called for? "Aya?" Ken asked with his voice flooded with hurt and tears. The redhead acted instinctivly when he heard those emotions from the other man. His arms pulled Ken close again. "I'm sorry Aya," the brunette mumbled while his tears ran from his eyes.

"Sch Ken," Aya said softly and wiped them away.

"But you didn't want me to say that, did you?" Aya couldn't answer, didn't know how to explain how he felt inside. His tongue was useless and his throat so dry. 

Desperate for a way out he pushed Ken onto his back and claimed his lips, hoping and praying that his actions could tell the brunette what he couldn't get out vocaly. At first Ken answered the almost desperate kiss and then Aya was pushed away.

"Ken," the redhead sighed and tried to get Ken to meet his eyes.

"Why Aya? Why are you playing with me? Do you feel so much pity for me that you'd be willing to sleep with me just to… to keep me from going insane?" 

Aya felt like someone had ripped his heart out and smached it into the gutter. He had so many feelings for Ken but pity wasn't one of them. Unfortunately his mouth decided not to work again so he couldn't reply, not that he had a clue of what to say.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tears that he had desperately tried to fight continued to run down his cheeks as amethyst eyes stared at him. Aya didn't want him, at least not in the same way he wanted Aya. Ken felt and heard his heart break into even smaller pieces. The redhead pitied him, that was why he had gone along with the kissing and touching.

"Ken." Aya's normally so strong and deep voice sounded thin, lost and unsure. Ken refused to look at the older man, refused to see the pity he was sure would be in those gem-like eyes. "I…" Aya the Icicle was lost for words and Ken would have laughed had the situation been any other.

"You're just doing this to keep me from fucking up during missions, aren't you?" the brunette asked harshly.

"No," was the short answer he got.

"Then why? Am I so pathetic?"

"Ken I'm… I'm…" The brunette froze inside. That was a tone he had never ever heard before in Aya's voice. It was fear. Carefully he turned his head and met the redhead's eyes. Aya was crying. He didn't understand, couldn't grasp what he saw and heard. "I'm afraid," the silent man finally managed to whisper. Confusion stormed through Ken like a fire on the loose. _He's scared? How can Aya be scared? Scared of what?_ The questions ran through the brunette.

"Of what?" Ken asked when he succeeded in getting his thoughts back on track again.

"Of you." Now that was not the answer he had expected at all. Why? How? To Ken's knowledge there was only one thing Aya feared and that was losing his sister, but she was safe. So why be afraid of him? The whole concept was just too incomprehensible.

"Why?" The redhead's eyes looked away and their owner pulled back.

"Because I… need you," Aya finally answered.

"But… You're the one who's been saving me over and over again… I'm the one who needs you, who's depending on you to keep me together. I don't understand!" Ken felt so confused and almost as if he was panicking. He didn't get an answer instead Aya left the room with his shoulders pushed forward and his head lowered to the floor in defeat.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya trembled as he quickly went downstairs. He grabbed his coat and pulled on a pair of shoes without caring if they were his or not. The rain outside had him soaked before he reached his car but it didn't matter. He just had to get away from Ken and all the feelings, the insecurity and fear he felt around the brunette. 

It was tearing him apart and the fact that Ken still wasn't healed inside didn't make it any easier. Tears trailed down his pale cheeks as Aya sped down the dark and empty street. He was running, running from Ken but mostly from himself. 

For years he had shut down his feelings and now he finally realized how disturbed that had made him. It was too hard, hurt too much to set them free again. He had wanted to tell Ken that he loved him but he couldn't get the words out like he had been able to when the brunette was asleep. 

The white porsche stormed down the wet street much faster then what was safe. Then suddenly Aya slammed his foot on the break causing the car to fishtail all over the road. Just barely he escaped from being crushed against a house before the car stopped. 

Gasping for air the redhead hugged himself. He was going to have to straighten out things with Ken before he really lost him. Shaking badly he turned the car around and headed back to the house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken almost ran from Aya's bedroom. He didn't know what was going on and the shear thought of being alone made him whimper in fear. Not only was he going to have to face his past alone again but now he also had to deal with… having done something wrong towards Aya. Something that he didn't understand, that he couldn't grasp just what it was. He was so tired and he felt more broken than ever. Without the redhead he didn't know how to handle his fears but Aya was gone.

"Ken-kun?" a soft voice asked and the brunette looked up.

"Yes Omi." The small blonde came in and sat down on his bed.

"Where's Aya-kun?" Ken didn't answer and he didn't have to either, his short team-mate seemed to understand just by looking at him. "You two are hopeless," Omi sighed.

"Huh?"

"He's scared Ken-kun." Ken stared. How did Omi know that?

"How? Eh he told me that," the brunette stammered.

"But do you understand why?" Omi asked softly. Ken shook his head at that. "Aya isn't really Aya anymore." Brown eyes shone with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You know that Aya is really Ran, right?"

"Yes but…"

"Why do you think he's been hiding behind that mask all these years?" Ken didn't answer because he wasn't sure he knew. "I talked to Aya-chan a lot before she left for school and she told me about Ran, the real Ran. Unlike Aya Ran is a very nice and caring person but he's also insecure. Don't get me wrong I know Aya cares about us even if he doesn't always show it but…" Omi's voice trailed off. "Ken, you've forced Aya to dig up Ran again and he doesn't understand, or know how to handle, him anymore."

"But I… haven't…"

"Done anything?" Omi suggested and got a nod from Ken. The petit blonde smiled at that. "You did plenty Ken-kun. You gave him someone to care about, protect, help… someone to love." The brunette's eyes widened and his throat suddenly became very very dry. "Why do you think he's been watching your every move for months? Every time you've crashed Aya's been heartbroken. He cares so much for you but he doesn't understand, doesn't know how to handle it. Aya-chan is worried about him too but she can't reach him, he won't let her. You have to see the man that's behind Aya's mask and I know you're the one who's seen him the most. But you…"

"But I've been too occupied with my own problems," Ken almost whispered.

"NO!" Omi frowned. "The timing was bad, that 's all. Have you any idea of how much Aya suffered when Morioka-san put you on those drugs? It was killing him to see you like that. He loves you Ken-kun." The brunette tried to digest what Omi was telling him.

"But when I told him I loved him he just froze."

"You probably scared him half to death Ken-kun. It might not be in the very same way with him as it is with you but, Aya is just as broken inside as you are. You need him to heal just as he needs you to heal." A lot of times Omi seemed to be a genki carefree kid but he was sharp and nothing usually managed to sneak past him which was confirmed to Ken by the soft voice that spoke to him now. The slender blonde patted his friend's shoulder and rose. "Help him Ken-kun, I don't think anyone else can." With those words Omi left the brunette alone with his problems and thoughts.

~TBC or maybe not~

Keep in mind that this is one of the ways I look at Aya's 'problem' so don't flame me about it okay?! Ja/Atsureki


	10. Chapter 9. Difficult Words To Say

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

To you who read chapter 8 and reviewed on it telling me I should keep writing. I'm sorry that I went on like that *hangs head in shame. Anyways thanks to my lovely reviewers I'm still writing this story *grins* Oh and there will be two more chapters after this one and then it's over *sighs* 

I want to send a huge thank you to loads of ppl!!! Jin (and no it wasn't you of course not *hugs Jinjin*), Siberian (I hate butter please don't use it *hides under the bed*), Keeshe Kal'daka (I need that book for school tomorrow *winces* School *shudders*), Foxy Kitsune (Um no trashcans and no Schu *laffs* But he is cute isn't he *cuddles Schu*), Whisper Reilman (I don't want you to cry so here's another chappy *glomps*), Shavica (there you go, sorry about leaving you hanging), Omi Godzilla (Thanks *S*). Did I forget anyone? If so I'm so very sorry ! *glomps all her reviewers* You are so the best ever, really you are!!!!

Chapter 9. Difficult Words To Say

"Aya?" The soft sound of his name made the redhead turn around. He had just removed his drenched coat and was about to pull off his shoes. His eyes landed on Ken's troubled face.

"I'm… wet," was the only thing Aya managed to say as he stared into brown orbs. Ken took his hand and started dragging him towards the stairs. Baffled the redhead came with him. He was pushed into Ken's room and the door closed behind them.

"Sit," the brunette ordered softly. Aya sank down on the bed shuddering from his wet, cold clothes. A towel was placed in his hands so that he could dry himself off. "We need to talk." The redhead looked up and swallowed. Yes they did need to talk but he wasn't so sure he wanted to hear what Ken had so say.

"Aa."

"Actually I'll talk and you'll listen," Ken muttered and Aya could hear that he was confused, scared and a little bit angry. "That night when you found me in the soccer-field I wanted to kill myself. All I had were bad memories and nightmares that scared the hell out of me but you took them away. I don't know how and I don't really care but you took them away Aya, you helped me just like you promised you would. There's a part of you that thinks that's why I said that I love you, isn't there?" 

The redhead winced. That was partially true but how did Ken know that? 

"Do you remember when you told me that I was a part of the team and that you wouldn't just abandon me? That really hurt because I thought you just pitied me. Aya, you have to let me know what's going on inside of you. Are you helping me because you feel you have to or is there some other reason?" Aya lowered his eyes to the floor. Ken had a right to know but… could he confess?

"Ken I…" The redhead sighed at himself. "I care a lot about you," he managed to get out.

"That's not what I asked Aya. I know you care about all of us. But what I want to know is… is…" Ken's voice trailed off. "I'm scared too. It's not like I planned on falling in love with you but I did and I can't just pretend that I didn't. If you feel the same way you have to tell me and if you don't you have to tell me that instead. Tell me you don't feel anything apart from friendship and I'll back off, I'll go to a new shrink and I won't bother you with my problems anymore." The brunette's words were filled with sadness, hurt and despair but Aya could tell that he meant every one of them.

"I want to tell you Ken but I just can't. I… try but…" the redhead said and stumbled over the words. "I've want to tell you but every time I try I just can't get the words out. Do you understand? I want to be Ran again because you can't love Aya, he doesn't feel anything. But I don't understand Ran, don't know if he's still in me. You scare me because you force me to feel again and I don't know how to handle it. I don't want you to back off but I can't seem to say that I love you!" The redhead was on the brink of tears as he rambled. 

The room became quiet as Ken stared at Aya and Aya's brain informed the redhead what he just had said. Suddenly Ken smiled.

"You're such a baka Aya." Amethyst eyes stared into brown. "If Aya doesn't feel anything then why did he save me? He allowed me to sleep on his lap just so that I wouldn't have nightmares, he held me in his arms all night, he worried about me when I couldn't even gather enough emotions so feel anything at all. Yes, Aya can be cold, even heartless sometimes but I love him," Ken said firmly and sat down beside the redhead who was staring at him with wide eyes. "I'm not asking you to be Ran, I'm asking you to be you. You accept me the way I am Aya why would you think I wouldn't do the same for you?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ken watched the man next to him. Emotions ran across those amethyst eyes and he could only hope that he had said the right things. He needed Aya by his side, wanted him there. The nightmares didn't matter anymore nor did his broken inside. This was much more important. 

For the first time in months he was allowed to deal with someone else's problems and it made him see his own so much clearer. He had been selfish when he hadn't considered how much pressure he had put on the redhead but he wanted to help him, needed to help him.

"You don't want Ran?" Aya asked quietly.

"No, I don't want Ran, I want you. I don't know Ran but I know you. Just please let me love you," Ken begged. "I don't care if you can't say those words back to me as long as you let me say them to you." A shaking pale hand touched the brunette's face.

"But I do… love you." Those were the sweetest words Ken had ever heard in his life and he knew that Aya meant them, he could see it in his eyes.

"Then let's stop being such bakas. We're driving Omi carzy," Ken smiled warmly and wrapped his arms around the taller assassin. A soft laugh was heard from Aya and then the room became quiet for a long time.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Ken looked into the redhead's violet eyes and smiled again.

"I understand Aya, I really do. And I'm sorry I didn't see what this was doing to you." Slowly he leaned forward and kissed Aya, his Aya. The redhead answered willingly and snaked his arms around Ken's waist. 

Outside the door to the brunette's bedroom a small slender blonde preformed a happy little dance before he headed back to his own room smiling from ear to ear.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brown eyes peered into the darkness and narrowed. He could barely see anything and that annoyed him. His hands were trembling but he refused to let it get to him. A glance over his shoulder confirmed that the redhead was still there and he sighed in relief.

"The target is heading your way Siberian."

"Copy that Bombay," Ken answered quietly. He was on his first mission since he had been taken off of the drugs and he was nervous. What happened there was going to determine his future with Weiss.

"Are you okay?" The soft question made Ken smile. It felt safe to have Aya next to him even if he knew that the redhead wouldn't help him make the kill.

"I'm fine." Footsteps approached them so the brunette touched the triggers on his bugnuks and saw the claws shoot out. He was ready. 

The man who came walking towards him was a drugdealer, responsible for several deaths and Ken knew that even if that man had children it was no excuse for what he had done. Laws couldn't touch him but Weiss could put on end to the killings. 

When the man was close enough the brunette darted out from his hiding-place. Swiftly but shakingly he drove his steelclaws into a soft belly and moments later a dead body hit the floor. The panic was there, threatening to take over and send him into another anxiety-attack but he fought it this time. He wouldn't allow it to beat him again! He had too much riding on staying sane. Forcing himself together he retracted the claws. 

"Bombay, the target has been destroyed."

"Copy that Siberian," Omi answer and Ken could tell by his voice that the blonde was smiling. "Balinese, Abyssinian, let's move out."

"Copy that Bombay," Yoji answered.

"Copy that Bombay," Aya's voice follwed. A strong arm was wrapped around Ken's shoulders. "Let's go home." The brunette leaned against the taller man and nodded.

"Yes, let's go home."

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So?" Aya glanced up at the woman infront of him. "Well? How did it go?"

"Fine," the redhead answered blandly.

"Fine? Details Abyssinian, details!" Aya almost smiled at Manx.

"He was a bit nervous and he had to fight a little afterwards but he didn't hesitate."

"Thank God!" Manx sighed with relief. "Does he still have nightmares?" Aya tilted his head slightly.

"I don't know and I don't plan on finding out either," the slender assassin answered firmly.

"But he is still seeing his shrink, right?"

"Aa."

"And he's helping him, ne?"

"I believe so, yes."

"And about that other matter?" Manx asked with one eyebrow raised slightly.

"I haven't been near the store in three days. He can function on his own again."

"So I can report to Kritiker that Siberian is back in action?" Aya's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Aa, but you do understand that he won't be able to take missions like he used to yet, ne?" Manx nodded.

"I made a deal with you Abyssinian and I won't break it. For six months I won't offer you any missions where you and Siberian are separated."

"Good." The redhead rose from his seat and turned to leave.

"Ran." Frowing Aya faced Manx again. "You love him a lot, don't you?" she asked softly. Amethyst eyes softened.

"More than I thought was possible."

~TBC~

Gomen I know this was short but well I needed to write it quickly before I started dwelling on shit um stuff again *nods*

Aw Aya is so sweet *hugs him dearly* And Siberian is back in action ne? YAY Gooo Ken!!! Ja/Atsureki


	11. Chapter 10. Becoming Lovers

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, Lemon, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 10. Becoming Lovers

The four members of Weiss were all in bed but they weren't all asleep. One of them carefully freed himself from the body he rested against and slid off of the bed. His brown eyes were worried and a little bit scared but they also shone with determination. 

Silently he snuck out from the bedroom and headed to his own. He hadn't slept there for a long time but he would now. Ken sighed. He had three problems. The first one he intended to take care of right away. For the first time in two months he was going to sleep on his own and that was scary. 

He crawled into his own bed and shuddered. His body had forgotten what it was like to lie in a bed without Aya next to it. The second problem he had was missions. He had had five missions since he became drugfree and the panic was still there after every kill, threatening to take over and push him into an anxiety-attack. 

The third problem was asleep in the room next to his. It had been two months since Ken and Aya had admitted to loving each other and still nothing had happened. Ken just didn't understand. Why hadn't their relationship moved on? Aya hugged him, held him, kissed him, caressed him but nothing more. 

Ken huffed and buried his face in his pillow. The redhead was driving him insane! He loved Aya with his whole heart and he knew that his feelings were answered so why the hell didn't Aya move along? What he wanted was that tall slender body pressed against his, sweaty, panting, shivering from pleasure but for some reason that hadn't happened yet. 

Ken huffed again. Maybe Aya just didn't know what to do? Well he wasn't going to get any help from the brunette there because Ken only had a few clues of how those things worked between two men. Frustrated and cold he snuggled deeper under his covers and fell asleep, nightmares long since forgotten.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

A huge yawn was the only sign of Aya being awake. Something felt wrong though. Confused the redhead opened his eyes and reached out to pull Ken closer.

"Ken?" he asked when he found nothing. Except for himself the bed was empty. A glance at his alarmclock made him frown. It was only 3 am so where was Ken? Yawning again he stood up and pulled on a sweater. He padded out of his bedroom and downstairs. 

The brunette's jacket and shoes were still there so he hadn't gone outside. Both the kitchen and the living-room were empty. Frowning slightly Aya went back upstairs. After a moments hesitation he opened the door to Ken's bedroom. On the bed was the brunette, sleeping peacefully. Aya smiled. 

Ken had beaten the nightmares at last. Still smiling slightly the redhead went back to his own bed to try to go back to sleep without that warm body next to his.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sunshine should be banned in the mornings, especially when it hit people straight in the face. Ken muttered sourly and pulled the covers over his face. He was cold and he felt lonely. Grunting he moved further to the right in search of the body he knew should be there somewhere. With a yelp he ended up on the cold and very hard floor.

"What the hell?" he frowned and looked around. He was in the wrong bedroom that much was obvious. It took a while before Ken got a grip on why he was there and not in Aya's bed. He had made it! He had slept a whole night alone without a single nightmare. 

Feeling pretty darn proud of himself the brunette stumbled to his feet. One problem down, two to go. Shuddering from the cool air he left his bed behind to go back to the one he'd rather be in. Aya was still asleep and looked so cute hugging Ken's pillow tightly to his face. 

Chuckling softly the brunette closed and locked the door behind him before he climbed in next to Aya. It was Sunday which meant that the shop was closed, no one would be up for hours yet. A perfect time to take care of another one of his problems. He was nervous but dammit he wanted the whole nine yards of their relationship! 

Ken huffed and wiggled his pillow away from the redheads arms. Since they had started sleeping in the same bed Ken had learnt a few tricks. By tickling Aya's ear he smoothly got the redhead to flip over to his back.

"No more stalling Aya," he muttered quietly and ran his brown eyes over the pale chest infront of him. His hands were placed on it carefully as he leaned forward to softly brush his lips across Aya's. Amethyst eyes fluttered open and their owner answered the kiss even though he was still half asleep. 

Ken deepened it and coaxed open the mouth he wanted to taste. He was given access and used it to run his tongue against the redhead's. A soft moan was his reward and it made him smile. The kiss broke and Aya's eyes drifted close again. _Oh no you don't!_ Ken muttered in his head. Frowning slightly the brunette moved so that he was straddling the other man's hips.

"Ken, what are you doing?" Aya asked quietly and set his sleepy eyes on the brunette.

"I'm not sure," Ken answered truthfully but made no attempt of moving. "I… I want you Aya," he added after a while and tried to will away the blush he knew was spreading across his face. A hand pulled down his face and his lips were claimed. There was something in that kiss that told Ken that what he wanted he would get, if he just asked for it. Slowly the brunette pulled away and met Aya's eyes. "Aya… make love to me."

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Aya… make love to me." Those words made the redhead shudder inside. He had waited patiently for the right time, refused to push himself or Ken and now he was asked, told to… to… Aya's head spun. Sure he wanted nothing more than to make love to Ken but the truth was that even though he understood the basics he was unsure of what to do or how to do it. He had never been close to a man in that way before. 

To buy himself some time Aya pulled down the brunette's face and kissed him again. His hands automaticly found their way underneath Ken's shirt and started caressing the soft smooth skin. He ran them over the strong warm back that he was so used to press against when he was asleep. 

His tongue danced with Ken's in a playful war that made him moan softly. Without thinking he moved his lips from the brunette's mouth and nipped his way across a tanned jawline on his way to Ken's ear. His actions drew a moan from the slightly shorter man. Aya smiled and lapped his tongue over the sensitive skin on Ken's neck. The way they were positioned hindered his movement so he gently pushed the brunette to the side. 

"Aya?" Smiling softly the redhead caressed the other man's face.

"I want to see you Ken," he murmured and quickly got rid of the shirt that kept Ken's strong tanned chest from his eyes. His fingers moved over the newly exposed skin in small circles causing the brunette to moan again. Aya lowered his face and drew in the smell of Ken's skin. 

It amazed him how the brunette always smelled of sun-warmed skin, grass and that special smell that he only could describe as Ken. It was sweet but masculine just like the brunette. His lips brushed against the smooth chest and Aya heard how Ken's breathing hitched. 

Smiling the redhead kissed and nipped softly at the tanned skin moving here and there to claim more territory. A gasp escaped the brunette when soft lips brushed over a small nipple that hardened under the light touch.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The things Aya was doing with his mouth were driving him insane. Ken fought to keep himself still but it was impossible. He wanted more, much more and he wanted it now. The redhead's tongue played over his nipple and was making his whole body shudder. 

Other parts of his body started screaming for attention but he didn't know how to direct Aya there. Luckily for him the redhead seemed to understand. A hand was placed on his thigh and gently caressed him through the fabric. Oh God how Ken wanted his pants gone, burned, ripped to shreds anything as long as they were somewhere else then between his skin and Aya's warm hand. 

Again the redhead seemed to pick up on his unspoken desire and started working on the hindering piece of cloth. Ken lifted his hips from bed to help and soon his pants were discharged and forgotten. The brunette blushed and shut his eyes. It was one thing to want to be naked before Aya's violet eyes but it was a whole different matter to see it with his own eyes. Better to keep them closed. 

Soft fingertip brushed over the skin on his thigh and Ken instinctivly spread his legs to allow Aya access. The gentle caressed moved upwards and stole the brunette's breaths away. Aya's lips were back on his, kissing him softly as the palm of the redhead's hand came into contact with his erection. Ken's hips bucked up and he moaned hoarsly into Aya's open mouth. 

He had never felt anything like that before but he wanted more, something else. What it was he wasn't sure of but he wanted it fast. Slender fingers wrapped around his arousal and made him gasp for air. If Aya kept that up he wouldn't last long. The hand was removed and Ken could breathe again.

"Aya, please," he begged not really knowing what he was begging for.

"Are you sure Ken?" the redhead asked softly and looked him in the eyes.

"Please." Aya nodded and left his side for a moment. He could hear him moving things and waited impatiently. The redhead returned with a familier jar in his hand and lacking his pants. A bit confused Ken looked at it. What did Aya need vaseline for?

"I… I think this will hurt a little," Aya said with hesitation. Hurt? Ken swallowed. _Well no pleasure without pain,_ he decided and just nodded. A little bit scared he watched the redhead open the jar and coating his fingers in the slippery ointment. Aya kneeled between the brunette's legs and again met his eyes. 

Ken trusted that man with his life so he willingly spread his thighs wider. The redhead leaned forward and softly nibbled on his lips while his fingers sought their way between muscular buttocks. Ken tensed for a moment but relaxed when Aya brushed his finger over his entrance. 

It felt a bit strange but not unpleasent. Slowly and carefully one slender digit entered him. There was no pain just a feeling of something unfamilier. Gently and slowly the redhead moved his hand back and forth. A low moan spilled from Ken's lips. Encouraged by that Aya inserted another finger. The brunette tensed again but pushed away the slightly awkward feeling. The movement soon turned it into pleasure and he moaned again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya's body shivered as the brunette's body hugged his fingers. Slowly and as carefully as he could the redhead started stretching Ken. He didn't know how well he could do it or if it would eliminate all signs of pain but he was going to do the best he could. The more he moved his hand the more Ken relaxed. 

With slight hesitation he slid a third finger inside and stopped when the brunette tensed. His lips brushed over Ken's, telling him that everything was okay. As soon as the brunette relaxed again Aya started moving his hand. The moans came back and brown eyes drifted close. He decided that he had stretched Ken enough and withdrew his hand.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked softly.

"Yes," Ken breathed. "I want you Aya." That was all the redhead needed to hear. Carefully he coated himself and again kneeled between the brunette's thighs.

"If it hurts tell me." Half-lidded brown eyes looked at him with love.

"I can take a little pain Aya, just please…" Ken's voice trailed off. Nodding the redhead moved forward pressing himself against the slightly short man's entrance. With every muscle tensed almost painfully Aya started easing himself inside the warm body.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

There was pain, enough to make Ken want to tell Aya to stop but he refused. He wanted this and he would have it! Forcing himself to relax he closed his eyes and put all his trust in the hands of the silent man he loved. It felt like it took forever before Aya was completely buried inside of him. All movements stopped as he was giving a chance to adjust to the new feeling of having someone inside of him. 

Carefully Ken opened his eyes and looked into amethyst shining with passion, lust and a tender lover that made his heart pound faster. Slowly Aya pulled out slightly and then gently pushed back inside. It still hurt a little but there was another feeling that drowned out the pain. The next careful thrust made him moan. 

Aya shifted slighty and when he pushed back inside he hit something that made Ken's senses spin with pleasure. No one had ever told him that it could feel like that. He wanted more. In time with the next thrust he moved, pressing against it. His moan mixed with one that fell from Aya's slightly parted lips. 

The redhead picked up the pace a little and leaned forward to claim his lover's lips. Ken didn't think he could last very long and frowned slightly at that. He wanted that moment to last forever but no such luck. The pressure inside of him was already building up quickly. As the thrusts came faster a warm hand found its way between their bodies and gently wrapped itself around Ken's erection. 

He let out a low cry and moved against the sensation. Aya's breathing was hoarse and fast between the moans that fell from his lips. Again the pace picked up and the brunette was falling apart from the pleasure. One well aimed thrust caused him to scream out Aya's name and climax into the gentle hand that stroked him. 

The brunette's body tightened around Aya and pulled him over the edge. With a hoarse cry that called out Ken's name the redhead spilled himself inside his lover's body.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rapid heartbeats and hoarse breaths filled the otherwise quiet room. Sweat glistend on ivory and suntanned skin as the two lovers recovered. Gently and unwillingly Aya withdrew from the warm body that had been harbouring him. His arms shook slightly as he settled down next to Ken and pulled his lover into his arms.

"You okay? Did I hurt you?" the redhead asked with concern. A lazy smile played over the brunette's lips.

"I'm fine but I think I need a shower." The smile was returned as soft lips brushed against Ken's.

"I don't feel like moving," Aya mumbled into the brunette's mouth.

~TBC~

Whoa another Lemon! I'm turning into some Hentai-maniac *shakes head* Oh well I suppose it could be worse right???

Well I have one chapter to go and Ken has one problem left *sniffles* I'm so gonna miss this fic *crying* Anyways, you've read the crap um chapter no go review because I love reviews *nods* Ja/Atsureki


	12. Chapter 11. The Final Problem

Broken Inside

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiss Kreuz ain't mine and they never will be either *sighs*

Paring : Ran(Aya)/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst (as always *mutters*)

Last chapter you all!!!

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 11. The Final Problem

Aya was concerned, deeply concerned. The six months his deal with Manx had stated was running out fast. In only two weeks Ken would be given his first mission where Aya wasn't allowed to be near him. But that wasn't his only concern. 

The redhead frowned and glanced at his lover. They had had several missions but never one where they were forced to kill more than one person. Ken was shaking and his eyes shone with panic. Had the brunette come so far just to have it all ruined by this mission?

"Siberian, the three targets are heading towards you."

"Copy that Bombay." They both waited patiently for the men to enter the corridore. The redhead tried to calm himself down. He would still be there to help if something went wrong.

"Abyssinian you have four guards coming your way," Omi's voice said. Aya hesitated. If he had to take down four guards he wouldn't be able to help Ken. The targets were suppose to be alone! Brown eyes met amethyst and seemed to be begging for help. Aya screamed inside. He couldn't help his lover this time.

"Copy that Bombay. Balinese, what's your status?" he asked in a last attempt to get some help.

"Busy," was the short answer he got along with sounds of fighting. _Shit!_ Yoji couldn't help them either. He turned around and found himself alone in the dark corridor. Ken must have gone after the targets on his own. Aya didn't have time to do anything about it since four men were approaching him. He drew his katana and faced them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The world was spinning and he couldn't force it to slow down anymore. He had a bloody body lying to the right and one badly wounded infront of him. The last of the three targets was circling him. Ken felt the panic shoot through him. It was too much to stand there surrounded by blood and shivering flesh. 

Suddenly the man moving around him was replaced with Kase. The brunette didn't understand. He had done several missions and this had never happened before, so why now? But then the panic had been there every single time, threatening to beat him. Drawing in a deep breath Ken moved forward with his hands raised. He had to finish this! Stumbling he charged the last target. 

A scream filled his ears until he heard nothing else, blood rained around him until he saw nothing else. The body hit the floor with a thud and then there was only silence. Shakingly Ken sank to his knees. He had done it, he had made it. That's when he made the mistake of looking around. 

The whole room was filled with blood, his hands drenched in it. Heavy in the air was the sweet metalic stench of blood that threatened to suffocate him. Massacared bodies littered the floor. In an instant the nightmare came back.

"No, please no," he begged and tried to crawl away, only succeeding in getting himself coated in blood. His heart started pounding like a drum, his pulse ran away, his chest cramped up. It was happening again. He was being taken over by another anxiety-attack. 

The voices accused him constantly as he whimpered in fear. He just didn't understand why it all came back now. Why was he still so broken inside? During the last months he had been so happy, so at ease and now it was all ruined. Aya. He needed the redhead with him, that was what was missing. Without his lover he felt unsafe, unprotected. 

"AYA!" Ken screamed over the link and felt the nightmare consuming him until there was nothing else.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Aya growled and ran his katana through the last guard. His leg hurt like hell from the knife that had stabbed him. Annoyed the redhead dried off his weapon and walked away.

"I've taken care of those guards Bombay," he muttered as he limped down the corridor.

"Abyssinian," Omi said with hesitation. "I… I can't get in touch with Siberain, he doesn't answer me." He was just about to answer when a scream reached his ears.

"AYA!" Forgetting about the pain the redhead stormed towards the sound. He almost slipped in the blood on the floor as he stopped. Ken was lying on the floor with his face pale and sweaty, eyes unseeing as he stared at something that wasn't really there.

"No Ken! Please not this!" Aya begged as he pulled his lover into his arms. The fast breathing, dangerously rapid heartbeats and sweaty face were all signs of Ken having another attack. Carefully he shook the brunette trying to get his attention. "Ken?" he asked softly. No response. "Bombay, Balinese, get up here, now!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~

It felt like déjà vu as the three assassins stood by their friend's bed looking at his limp body. Aya didn't know what to do. What he did know was that Ken would never be able to go back to being a part of Weiss again. The brunette's past had beaten him in the end.

"What's going to happen to him Aya-kun?" Omi asked quietly. Aya didn't answer. There was only one way out of Kritiker and that was in a body-bag.

"Has anyone informed Manx about this?" he asked instead and glanced at the two blondes.

"No. Shouldn't we call a doctor or something?" The redhead shook his head at Yoji's question.

"Ken-kun isn't going to… to stay with us, is he?" Amethyst eyes moved to Omi.

"No. He's normal as long as he doesn't have to kill," Aya answered and sighed. "I've seen how hard he has to fight after each mission but this one was just too much."

"And it was a type of mission we get a lot," Yoji muttered. "Aya, what is going to happen to him now?"

"We all know the answer to that Kudou. They'll remove him from the team."

"But Aya-kun," Omi objected and stepped closer. "They can't just, just…"

"We're nothing but their dogs to them Omi. If we can't kill for them we're useless," the redhead said quietly.

"What if we don't tell them? I mean we should be able to cover up for Ken until he's well enough to go back, right?"

"Yoji, he's never going to be well enough for that. It won't go away, ever. His shrink warned me about this. The only way for Ken to deal with killing is to put him back on those drugs."

"Then you two have to go away," the lanky blonde said firmly. "I'm not going to sit and watch as those damn bastard kill Ken!" Green eyes flared with anger. "Omi and I will cover up this while you find a safe place to go to." Aya stared in shock at Yoji. His oldest team-mate showed no signs of his normal grin and his eyes were hard and serious.

"What?"

"I'm telling you to get your sister away from her school, fix Ken up and then you two get lost! It's the only way out Aya and you know it. Omi can help you find a place to settle down."

"Yoji-kun is right Aya-kun. They won't let you go. Manx would try to make them but we all know that she won't be able to help in the end.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Abyssinian we need to talk," Manx said as she brushed past the red haired assassin. Aya followed her in silence. He sat down in the mission room and looked at her. "Aya-chan has gone missing from her school."

"What!?"

"I don't know what's happened to your sister but she's nowhere to be found," Manx muttered and paced the room. "She's been missing for two days."

"I thought you were suppose to look after her!" Aya snarled and shot up from the couch.

"Calm down Abyssinian! I'm sure we'll find her."

"If you don't you'll be sorry. You have two days to find her before I go after her myself," the redhead growled and glared at the woman. She said nothing more and left. As soon as she was done a grin spread across Aya's face.

"Did she buy it?" Aya turned around and looked at Omi.

"Why wouldn't she? Is Aya-chan safe?"

"Hai Aya-kun, she's waiting for you. When will you and Ken-kun be leaving?" The redhead walked up to his team-mate and ruffled his hair.

"Sometime the day after tomorrow. Thanks for helping us Omi. I know this could get you into some serious trouble." The small blonde smiled.

"You don't have to thank me Aya-kun, I want to help. Yoji-kun and I don't know where you're going and Manx won't have any reason to think we had anything to do with this since we'll be the ones reporting you missing," Omi said softly.

"If something backfires you know how to get in touch with me, right?"

"Hai Aya-kun. Just take care of Ken-kun he needs you so much." At that Aya smiled.

"Hai he does and I need him a lot too."

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yoji and Omi entered the Koneko in silence. They had spent all day answering questions about the two missing team-mates. For the most part they had answered with the truth. They didn't know where Ken and Aya were, they didn't know exactly when they had left or how. Why they did know but hadn't said anything about it. If Manx had seen through their lies she hadn't showed it or said anything about it.

"I guess it's just you and me now," Yoji said quietly and put his arm around Omi.

"Hai Yoji-kun. I'll miss them."

"So will I chibi, so will I," the older man sighed as they headed towards the kitchen.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two men walked down a dusky street hand in hand. The sun was just barely peeking up over the ocean. It was still warm outside and the air smelled of salt and sand. They stopped to watch as the golden ball of fire drowned in the water and disappeared. The taller one faced the shorter and pulled him close. 

For a long time they just stood there holding each other. They shared a kiss and then turned around to walk back the same way they had come from. The shorter man, a brunette, leaned against the taller and sighed. His companion, a redhead, smiled softly and ran his slender pale fingers through soft hair. 

It was obvious they were lovers, partners in life. As they approached a small house a girl in her late teens came running towards them. The two men parted slightly to allow her to settle between them. Together they entered the house in silence. No one knew who they were, where they had come from and no one cared. 

In their neighbours' eyes they were a loving family however odd they may seem. They loved and protected each other just like all families and that was enough for most people who saw them. Inside the house the lights were turned on as the two men and the young woman settled down in the living-room. 

The brunette leaned against his lover with a smile and the redhead hugged him tightly as he listened to the young woman. She told them about her day at school before she left them alone to go to bed. The two man stayed on the couch satisfied just with being close to each other. 

They hid secrets but then again doesn't everybody? In the night sky stars twinkled as two lovers drifted to sleep, safe in each other's company, at least for the time being…

~OWARI~

It's all over now *pouts* Hm unless I decide to write a sequel I mean I did leave the door open for one ne? *chuckles sadly* I'm gonna miss this fic so much! *wipes tears* The ending was a bit lame though, wasn't it?

Now that it's over I want to thank my reviewers who's made sure it got this far. A huge thank you to Jin, fei, Siberian, Keeshe Kal'daka, Shavica, Cece, lorien, Whisper Reilman, Kyri, Teteiyus, Kamibukurosama, chibi koneko and everybody else! You've all been so wonderful!!!! Glomps and thanks to each and every one of you! Ja/Atsureki


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